I have a friend, a rare gem who stayed even when it wasn't convenient for her – not a family member, not my blood, but only a friend!
A lot of the time, I hear people say that friends are the family we choose. This is right, but I don't think we deeply understand the meaning of those words. It can only be clearer when life practically tests some people around us. Just like when you try to explain to an expectant mum what labour pain feels like, she may not totally understand you until she tests it herself while she is giving birth.
Being the social type of person I am, right from my tender age, I have met different kinds of friends over the years. Some of these friends came into my life in different seasons, and while some took a walk away during my difficult season, some stayed. It is an experience that taught me to always lower my expectations of people because life is a personal race and people have their lives to live, but then, among the many friends I had then, there is a particular one that changed my perspectives about friendship.
Some years back, my family went through something I will call an unbelievable financial setback, to the point of finding it hard to feed ourselves. I didn't see that coming because we had stuff for backup aside from our jobs, and suddenly, it was as if a trumpet sounded for every door to shut against us. I couldn't talk about the mess I was going through, yet I was silently dying; the burden kept getting so overwhelming day after day. I could dress up nicely and smile in public but soak my pillow with tears inside my room. To say that I was emotionally drained is an understatement.
One afternoon, Uche, my good friend and my chief bridesmaid during my wedding that year, called me just to check on me as usual, and boom, she spotted my low voice and insisted that I tell her my worry even when I told her I was fine. She didn't give up but kept pressing on and on, a heart that cares indeed... I had to tell her all I was going through, majorly for me to have relief from any encouragement she had for me, not that I was expecting anything from her because back then, she was struggling with her new business plus some level of emotional trauma over her failed relationships, but then, what she did the following day amazed me.
She came to my house very early in the morning with bags of beverages, snacks of different kinds for my kids, some little foodstuffs that sustained us for one week and a cash gift too. All these she did without posting it on social media or announcing it anywhere or making me feel embarrassed. She shared with me and the kids from the little she had and reminded me that it could be her turn tomorrow facing some difficult season and that life is quite unpredictable, and yeah, what are friends for?
Her words glued to my heart to this date and gave me big relief. What I loved most about her kind gesture at the time of my need was that she didn't just drop those items and turn her back on me; no, she kept checking on me, reminding me to be hopeful, sending me Bible verses to encourage me and also sending me job links to apply for. She also reached out to someone she knew could hire my husband; it was lovely to see such effort from her. She supported us emotionally, financially, spiritually, etc.
It was indeed an experience that shifted my mind and understanding of friendship. Permit me to say that her actions taught me a nice lesson. and yeah... I came to the realisation that true friendship is not about how long you have known someone or how many fun events you have done together with 100 pictures and videos together. A genuine friend doesn't wait to have it all before coming through, just like this lady I shared above. She didn't say I should suit myself; after all, I am married, and she is still single, but she simply shared in my burden and stayed to date.
I am lucky and grateful for such a rare gem life brought my way, and anytime I remember that hard moment of my life, I remember a friend who stood by me all the way.
It's a reminder to me that I am not alone no matter how hard life gets.
