Human psychology is very weird. I'm on that list, too. No matter how much I hate envy and jealousy, recently I've been seeing the reflections in me. Yeah, unknowingly, I'm seeing this developing within me, and I'm trying to control it by realising the positive sides of the stuff.
A few months ago, my senior left the company, another senior did the same, even before that, and another senior was about to quit but stayed in the company somehow. My immediate senior, who was my supervisor, was a very humble person. One day, he directly said to me, "As long as I'm here, your progress will be slow. I must go for better opportunities, so you too get the chance to come forward as well." This thing was proven right, coming from an internship, my journey toward a permanent position was wild and very exciting. After his departure, it became true and way more visible; I could see myself getting prioritised and promoted.
Well, the promotion came with added responsibilities, or so. But I was enjoying the responsibilities and the priorities. Companies need to fill the vacant places; they are hiring more seniors. At that position, I was feeling inside, "Why, I'm doing right, no need anymore, give me those priorities and promote me sooner." It's like, I'm enjoying the position, no need for anyone on top of me, lemme climb that very soon. So, I didn't like the idea of having another senior on top of me in my heart.
But, later I realised, at this early stage of life or anywhere, we all need a good senior, better than us, whom we can follow and get guidance from. It's like the next step we should always be aiming for. Like, if there weren't any seniors, I wouldn't have got advice, stuff to learn from, and things to solve queries.
Actually, I have had a bad one in the middle, who was kinda bottlenecking the whole team and me instead of pulling us ahead. But the current one is kinda talented, got to see so much new stuff from him which made me realise that a long way is yet to go, it's only the beginning. He is skilled and talented enough to be a mentor or a senior whom someone can follow for the next stage. Also, there is someone to be responsible for the work as a whole, and I'm not that capable of taking the whole responsibility on myself; he's the guy.
So yeah, I might have had some odd thoughts a few weeks ago, but I did realise the actual need and worth of them. No one hampers others' goals and luck; it's just about the time we need to wait for them to come.
