Sometimes I wonder who a man is supposed to talk to when life gets hard.
Growing up, many of us heard things like "be a man" whenever we cried, complained, or showed that something was hurting us. Even when we were still young, we were expected to act strong. Nobody really asked if we were okay. We were just told to stand up and keep moving.
Now that I am older, I think about those words differently.
Being a man doesn't stop you from feeling pain. One thing about men is that we bottle up pain so we don't show it, we don't want to appear weak, we go through disheartening challenges daily, disappointments, discouragement, and even uncertainty.
But most times, you keep all of it to yourself because you don't want people to see you differently.
There is also the pressure to make money. People expect a man to work, provide, take care of his family, and somehow still have everything under control. Even when things are not going well, you may be ashamed to let people around you know that you're struggling.
Imagine having problems of your own that needs solving but you are still the person other people come to when they need help. You want to assist them, but you also have things you are trying to figure out.
What do you do?
Sometimes you help anyway and deal with your own problems later.
I think one of the hardest things is that people don't always notice when a man is struggling. If he is quiet, they may assume he is fine. If he doesn't talk about his problems, they may think he has none.
And if he finally opens up, he might worry that someone will use what he said against him later.
Of course, not every man experiences life this way, and I know some men have people they can talk to freely. But I think there are others who have learned to keep everything inside.
The thing is, nobody can be strong every single day. Even the person who always encourages everybody else needs encouragement sometimes.
I also believe that being a man means learning to take responsibility for your actions. admitting when you're wrong or need help, treating people with respect, and not allowing anger to become an excuse to hurt others.
For me, being a man shouldn't mean pretending that nothing affects you. There is a difference between facing your problems and pretending you don't have any.
We are human beings before anything else.
I don't have all the answers about what it means to be a man. I am still learning, and I believe there is always room to become a better person.
But I hope we get to a point where a man can say he is tired without being called weak, where asking for help isn't something to be ashamed of, and where men can talk about their problems without feeling that they have lost their dignity.
Sometimes, a simple conversation can help more than people realise.
I want to ask the men here something.
Have you ever felt that you had to hide what you were going through because you were expected to be strong?
And for the women reading this, what do you think men struggle with that people don't talk about enough?
Let's have an honest conversation.