It's a pleasure friends to come up on stage this afternoon. Remember, seeing your 32 gives me excess joy and your joy brings satisfaction to my soul. In today's article, expect to read funny compilation of stories from me.
Accusation from my niece
There is this my beautiful 4 years old niece living with us then. She is a bed-wetter. My parents tried all their best to stop her from bed-wetting. One thing for sure is that whenever she bed-wet, she will cry to show her eagerness to stop. So, to help, I considered carrying her out at least 3 times per night to urinate. Inside her mind, she started thinking that she is free from bed-wetting and that gave her added joy. But, I opened up to her by letting her know what I've been doing to help her. Yet, she didn't believe me. Next, she will cry to my parents that am lying because I don't know she is now a big girl.
One day, I received the highest accusation of my life from her. Eheh, I know that by now, your mind is telling you something and maybe, you're not far from the truth. lolz. My people, hmmm, as we went to bed one particular night, she slept in the same bed with me. Because I dozed off, she bed-wet. Not just that she bed-wet, the main issue is that she urinated on my body and clothes because, she cuddles me whenever she's sleeping.
Not knowing what to do, I changed her dress and took her to my mother since there is no space for both of us because, the bed can't accommodate both of us again. Therefore, I decided to manage the remaining space. In the morning, I rose up early to work before the girl rose up. In the evening, before I came back, the mother came visiting and the little girl told her mom that I 
Then, my mother informed me of the baby's accusation against me. Immediately the girl cut in and said,
Aunty, it's you that wee-wee for bed last night. Did I sleep with you? Look at my gown, it's dried. But yours was filled with urine including your bed. I thought you're a big girl not knowing you're a small girl. Weewee weewee baby!!
Honestly, I didn't know how to defend myself until mother came into the matter. To balance the whole equation, my mother told the baby all that happened and how I changed her clothe immediately after bed-wetting and that I was the one that took her over to her own bed.
With that, we all bursted into laughter while the baby bursted into crying. But, till date, the girl never believe that she did it.
What my boyfriend did to me
There is this handsome guy that came on my path years ago. Because of all his promises to me, I decided to give him chance in my life. Initially when the guy came to me, I rejected his offer. Why? Hmmm, my people, which girl will love to end up in poor man's hand? If you're interested, indicate under this post comment section. Because, the guy am narrating what transpired in-between us is still vacant and available for you. Lolz.
But, let me give you an expo. Relax, don't indicate your interest until you must have read to the end to avoid had I know. It's just to save you oooo. Hahaha.
Alright, let's move on.
The guys name is Precious. During those his years of disturbance, he do come to me on foot. But, one thing I cherish so much about him is his neatness, dressing and grooming. Though, I needed someone who can really take good care of me and he claimed to be one. I could remember the day he told me that I should not degrade or overlook him because he didn't come with motor, because, that he is ready to care for me even more than those with car. He further say:
That a man is driving a car doesn't mean he has the money. Because, many of them can't even take good care of a woman. As for me, am and will be ever ready to take good care of you. All I need is your approval.
At some level, I accepted his proposal. Few months later, during festive season, I demanded for some cash from him and he promised to give. I needed the cash to buy shoe, wrist watch and jewelries to suit my friends wedding which I needed to attend. If I call him today, he will shift it to tomorrow, and tomorrow, he must shift it to next week. At some point, I felt so exhausted and decided to call him. Carefully check how the call went below..
Precious: Baby hafa
Marajah: Baby, am not fine oo
Precious: What? Please why?
Marajah: Baby, Please, I need the money naa.
Precious: Ohh, sorry dear, please how much do you need?
Marajah: Baby, it's just a token of 30k (thirty thousand naira only).
Precious: Helloooo, your call is being forwarded. Press 1 to end the call, 2 to call back later, 3 to drop a message, 4 to hold-on and 5 not to call back again.
Marajah: Hello, hello, baby. Can't you hear me?
Out of confusion, I called back to clear off my mind. As the phone rang, he picked and below was the reply I got:
Dear customer, this is precious voicemail. You're free to drop your message or call back later.
Knowing how much love he has for his mother, I replied:
Baby, am calling to inform you that your mom had ........
Immediately, he said, My mother? Had what?
Chei, men and their wahala. Imagine!!, a guy that promised to care for me more than those driving Venza and Lexus jeep is now running away just because of 30k.
My fellow ladies in the house, if you have this kind of man as suitor, what will you do?
Our men, you guys should shift from this matter because, it has weight and can occupy space. Therefore, you all should run for your lives.