“I’m tired, so tired of my mom cursing me out and hurting me with words
I am tired of my mom blaming of everything. Sometimes, I think to an extent, she’s not my mother.”
Those were the words my friend said to me yesterday when she came by my house.
I was quiet because I understood where the words were coming from and I have personally witnessed at least six incidents where her mother spoke harshly to her, said outrageous things to her, and even denied her as a daughter.
But yesterday, she looked completely different, very heartbroken and hurt
I asked her, “What is really going on? Is there something you did wrong? Is there something your mom is angry about that you haven’t told me?”
She went down the memory lane, back to when she was in secondary school.
She remembered a time she was handling her mother’s phone and accidentally it fell off her hand, her mother believed she did it intentionally and blamed her for it.
She apologized and even got her mother a gift afterward.
But what happened yesterday broke her.
Her mother told her to return everything she had bought for her, she said she doesn't want to do anything with her as a mother again, she even told her that she had a father, but no mother. The sentence above pierced through her like knife
Currently, that the mum is keeping malice with her at home, in that mum doesn't give her food nor pots to prepare her meals.
Her mum keeps saying that, she's the reason why she is having issues with her husband (her father) and that's one of the reason, she doesn't want to tell her father
My friend was confused, as I was confused too
I honestly didn't know what advice to give her, I was speechless and feeling her hurt
Sometimes, parents say things out of anger, but words can leave wounds that don't disappear easily.
And yes, I know people will say, “She is your mother, you have to respect her.”
But what happens when the relationship itself becomes emotionally painful and sour with bitter taste?
So, I'm putting this here because I know there are women and mothers here with wisdom and experience
If you were in my friend's shoes, what would you do?
Please, talk to her like a mother who is actually giving advice having hearing the story above and having witnessed some incident
Would tell her to keep trying to make peace?
Or give the mother some space?
Or simply protect her peace and wait until things calm down?
Please don't ignore this post, my friend is really overthinking, and I don't want her to make a decision she will regret.
What advice would you give her?
