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Something has been going on with me lately. My intuition has been pulling me in a certain direction and what lies down that road isn't yet clear. I'd like to think that I'm savvy enough to avoid getting in the way of whatever is going on. But beyond that is a mystery.
This isn't the first time I've felt this way. There have been several moments in my life when I've let go and allowed myself to guided as much by intuition as by reason, with positive results. But those were mostly moments of crisis, whereas my life right now is stable and in many ways ideal. Still, my intuition is pulling me somewhere.
The question of where has me paying too much attention to everything. Synchronicities are of particular interest. So are the small activities I've found myself doing that deviate from normal routines. These things are important clues, but where are they pointing?
It seems like they're pointing to some new endeavor that I haven't quite got a handle on. Professionally, I like to do at least one big side project a year, and I don't yet know what to do for 2024. My ideas are all over the place. A comprehensive summary of COINTELPRO. A homesteading app.
Whatever I end up doing, I'm feeling pressured from within to make it good. At least as good as the stuff I've already done. This pressure is a little stressful. It has me measuring my future against my past. Such comparison constrains possibilities in a way I'm not quite comfortable with.
This may all sound hopelessly vague. Attempting to simplify things, it feels like I'm about to undertake some effort that'll be important to my identity, likely in the professional sphere. And the nature of this effort has yet to reveal itself. All I really know is that I'm about to take something on.
There's something magical in imagining what you could do, if you could do anything. What you could create, if you could create anything. Personally, I like to try to picture something new and awesome in the world, then work backwards from there. If life is a conversation with the environment, what is this environment asking you to bring to life?
Part of what I'm on the lookout for is the right kind of structure or container for my efforts. The right context. Whatever I do, I want it to fit somewhere. The right thing will come along, I'm sure.
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