An answer to a couple of questions I've been reflecting on as part of a program that I'm in.
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The loss of my family home a few months ago was devastating. I no longer have a garden to sit in to safely experience cluster headache attacks. I no longer have a place to paint or hang my art. Nor do I have workspace to do other kinds of arts and crafts.
The loss of my neighborhood feels tragic. For a long time it was a little gem in the urban landscape. But gentrification and poor urban planning sent it in an undesirable direction, and the pandemic sent it in another, much worse direction. It's no longer safe. No longer convenient. Whatever magic the place had has gone dormant. This was one of the few communities remaining in the country that I could actually live in, being walkable with organic grocery and pharmacy options. Now there is nowhere for me, and I grieve the loss of place.
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More than anything, what my soul longs for is a context that is fitting. A place to be and work that accommodates my special needs, which aren't outrageous but are inflexible due to my neurological disorder. A walkable community. Community itself.
When I was younger, I spent a few years in the intentional community movement. What I found wasn't promising. The economics of the communities I checked out and participated in were rarely sound, and rarely fair. There were landowners who just wanted servants, professional takers who just wanted a perpetual party at everyone else's expense, and various brands of spiritual and sexual predation happening. There were of course also good situations in this movement, but not many, and none that I found was a good fit for me.
My soul doesn't exactly long for intentional community, but it longs for something that rhymes with that. It longs for freedom, support, and protection from the status quo. The right neighborhood or village, where I can just live and work and meet all of my needs and be okay. The right community of people, whether they live nearby or not.
I gave up on trying to do things that weren't in line with my soul's purpose a long time ago. Most of my last decade has been spent carefully documenting systemic corruption for WantToKnow.info and writing endlessly about societal transformation. My soul fully embraces this transformation and yearns to connect with others who are doing the same. So a context that supports these connections would be ideal.
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