I want to believe that you've heard this age-old adage that says, "Don't bite the hand that feeds you." This is more like a golden rule, a societal norm, which emphasizes gratitude and respect towards those who have in one way or the other helped, supported or provided for us. Doing so could portray the person as an ingrate, disloyal and lacking in self-awareness.
But I want to ask;
What if that same hand turns against you? What if it forces itself into your mouth, trying to choke you, or points at your face in a threatening manner? Would you still adhere to the rule, and allow the hand to harm you? Or would you react in self-defense, maybe bite the hands to protect yourself?
What would you do?
For me, I will go with the later, which is reacting in self defense, and then wait for the castigation that may come afterwards.
You may be wondering why I would choose to do so. I'll tell you.
My life and my dignity are worth defending, and I will take whatever measures necessary to protect do so. I will not hesitate to prioritize my well-being and safety over any obligation to anyone who would seek to harm me.
Granted, being appreciative to those hands that have fed you is the right thing to do, but it should not be misconstrued as a justification for tolerating abuse, manipulation, or control. It is wrong to accept that.
While gratitude is important, it's not more important than your safety and well-being.
Helping and lording it over them
People should understand that just because they've helped someone, it doesn't give them the right to manipulate or control that person's life. Helping someone shouldn't be seen as a means to gain power or dominance over them. Not only is it morally wrong, it's against societal norms, so I believe.
Unfortunately, some individuals develop a sense of entitlement or ownership over those they've assisted, leading them to overstep boundaries and try to dictate the person's actions or decisions.
When the person being helped tries to set boundaries, the helper, instead of respecting the person's choices, often responds by calling them ungrateful, disloyal, and all whatnots. This reaction is unfair and manipulative.
Everyone deserves respect, independence and the freedom to make their own choices, regardless of the help they may have received.
Respecting boundaries shouldn't be too much to ask for. Or is it?
Apparently, it is, especially for the kiss and tells - these individuals who, after any slightest misunderstanding with the one they've helped, would go public with their "litany of generosity,". They'll share every detail of their assistance, to anyone who cares to listen just to gain sympathy and portray the other person as ingrate. This is nothing but emotional blackmail.
What petty and selfish behavior!
I see this behavior always play out in my office environment and I feel so sad that genuine kindness and help are being exploited for personal gain and to manipulate others.
I'd rather you didn't show me kindness at all than have you go tell it to the mountains, over the hills and everywhere, afterwards - or at the least misunderstanding
Keep your kindness and I'll keep my dignity
Thank you for reading
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