Life is not meant to be happy all the time. Throughout life we experience all sorts of states, and they come one after another. If in this change we manage to maintain a certain peace, the knowledge that everything passes, we can say that we are happy.
I have only tamed those golden words – Everything passes in life, and this too will pass – over many years. I think that the great secret is still being able to hear your quiet inner voice. Especially when making unusual decisions, even when others do not understand or support your decision. Since I have already done something in life, looking back I can testify – acting only on your own decision, acting according to your inner voice, creates a feeling that you live your authentic life and only you are 1000 percent responsible for it. I have no doubt that if you are not satisfied with your life, it is necessary to change it boldly and decisively. Of course, it is not always easy to take responsibility for this, but it is extremely important.
Now, looking back, I understand that everything in my life happened in a kind of chain - one after another. I never made any contradictions between what I do in life and writing. Everything came and still comes from the same source. But nothing happens at once - after all, you don’t live your whole life at once, but only one day at a time.
What I do, what I do in life, is a certain point that gives me a reason and meaning for everything I have done so far - everything has always flowed and molded into who I am now. Many of my past practices, my experiences have come together at one point, and I can use it - I don’t have to hide anything or forget what once happened.
I am very grateful to my family that I did not experience existential anxiety about the future. This is probably my mother’s greatest merit – she took care of the safety of the nest.
I have never in my life encountered the situation of wanting something, but not being able to do it. And it has nothing to do with finances – I think it is more of a block in our minds. If you want, it means you can, you just have to start doing it. I can’t stand the saying that wanting is enough. No, it is not enough. There is no such day X when the muse will fly in, sit on the couch and dictate what to do. It doesn’t happen. You have to grab the end of some thread that seems like an idea to you and start winding it. Of course, there is always a chance that you will take the wrong path, then you have to go back and start all over again.
Life is not a place of comfort or convenience. I am not surprised or annoyed by some gossip, and even more so by jealousy. I am already resistant to such things. I accept it as rain, complete inevitability - nothing can be changed. And anyway, it should be taken as a compliment.
Life itself takes us out of all, even the most difficult situations. And now I try to think more about simple, but very important things for me. I want nothing to change in my family. In my life. I want everyone to be healthy. So that my personal relationships are full-fledged, open. I want everything to be as it is. For me, home is the people who live here. There should be harmony there, a balance of all dark and light shades. So that you don’t feel like you’re in a museum. At the same time, it would be visible that life is lived here.
For a long time, I have tried to live as if today was the most important day. It is a real luxury to eat something delicious every day, without waiting for a certain occasion. To have coffee with a friend or buy someone a gift, if your heart desires it. On a simple Monday morning, to have breakfast in bed, to cook a delicious dinner by candlelight, to dream together about visions of the future, how you would like to live, where to go, what to see.
Today is the most important day for me. And I haven't been waiting for anything for a long time. Maybe just a beautiful morning tomorrow. Traditions, family - something you can rely on. It's great to return to where your home is looked after, where you are accepted as you are, where you are valued. Loved, accepted. And only then can you relax, laugh.
Thank you for reading.
You are always welcome to check my posts.
All photos are original, taken by me.
