1:00a.m. and I’m taking a break from the monotony of designing a dumb menu for a restaurant here in the Twin Cities. This is an adjustment from the glamorous life, flying all over the world and photographing pinup and boudoir models — but, life has changed. That chapter has closed and I’m good with it. This feels a bit like a work-release program. It’s isn’t meaningful, but it’s necessary. Honestly, six months ago this is what I was praying for at my mental, emotional and spiritual lowest so with that perspective in mind, I’m grateful to be making a halal income even if it’s modest. I’m paying the bills and some of the challenges that come with these gigs are enjoyable. I feel like I’m learning again and with pinup photography, I genuinely felt like I had done all there was to do.
So, it’s been a while since I did a freewrite. I don’t celebrate Christmas anymore — not that it was ever more than capitalist holiday in my family to begin with — but I was left with a conundrum with my son and family. I talked with some close friends and I did come up with a compromise and with some of the money I’ve earned from the recent jobs, I was able to buy him a guitar he’s been asking for for months. I love music and I love metal, but I am not at all musically inclined; it’s just not one of my gifts. This is a Jackson Kelly with a Floyd Rose […no idea, but apparently, it’s a big deal]. I’m doing everything I can to encourage 
One Christmas Day, I took him to see Nosferatu. In 2021, I took him to see the original F.M. Murnau silent film from 1929 so he had all the context he needed. We went to the Alamo Drafthouse and I camped out for tickets the day they went on sale. We got the best seats in the theater. That venue has a lot of memories. It’s where I first saw Scarface and several other classics. I was heartbroken when they went into Chapter 11 bankruptcy but they reopened! The film was really good. I was skeptical of Skarsgård because, c’mon — does he really have to be every villain going forward?! He killed it, though, except for the fucking mustache! How did that shit get through the writer’s room? It took me out of almost every scene.
Once we got back home, he spent the rest of the day shredding on his new axe in his room. I took some time to work on a personal project now that I’m back at a point in my life that I can do things like that. I’m slowly working building recipes, confidence and photography for a vegan cook book and I wanted to make and shoot an acorn squash soup. I’ve made this recipe a few times for friends this fall and feel like I’m perfected the balance of spices and texture. Every Friday at Jum’ah, there is free bread from Panera. It goes quick, but no one ever takes the sourdough bread bowls. I thought that would be the perfect presentation for such a hearty, winter soup and I wasn’t wrong. Not the best photo, but I’ll try again soon. Thanks for reading!
