Why does everything hit me when I fucking drink? I’d like to say it’s when I do my best thinking… But there’s so much that swirls around in my head I can’t make sense of it all enough to formulate words.

Long day. Double shift, 17 hrs. Super busy first half, even busier second. Felt good, felt productive, kicked some ass. Body is definitely feeling it. Came home. Took a hot shower with a Truly. Laying

A lot has happened in the past couple months. I’ve come to realize so many things and learn some good life lessons. Most importantly, when people show you who they are, believe them. Don’t ignore people’s

Sitting on my porch. Rain hitting my shoulders as I type. Just thinking. Reflecting. On life… the choices I’ve made and the things I’ve done. For as much as I’ve been hurt, I’ve hurt people too. Good people.

Never in my life have I wanted to be alone more than I do now. I don’t want to talk. I don’t want to pretend. I just don’t fucking want to. If I could just pick up and go I absolutely would, no second

You good tho? Legit If you’re good, then I’m good…. But are you?

You will forever search for me. In crowded rooms, in empty ones. In the people you know and the ones you’ll meet. I will remain in your mind. In your heart. In your blood. I am the drug and you, the addict.

I couldn’t sleep if I wanted to. I’m so tired, but every time I close my eyes I’m thrown awake. I wish I could escape it.

I’ve re-read this chapter umpteen times now. Each time I read it, the more things I learn. New secrets, new lies. And no mater how many times I read it, I never understand. So how much time should I spent

If I’m a lion, then you’re a leopard. A leopard never changes its spots I wonder sometimes about the depths of your mind. About how complicated and deep everything actually goes. Maybe then I could understand

Not really in the mood for much today. Tolerance for pretty much everything is low. The more and more I sit here and think about shit the more apparent things start to become. Been letting other people

The nicotine hits. Head rush. Alcohol soothes. Relaxed. Bike hits 90 in 3rd. Blood rushes. I’ve had a million sensations in my lifetime and not a single one gets me like you do. I’ve never been an addict,

Today was a weird day. Found myself annoyed at almost everything. Short fuse. Short attention span. Honestly just want to be left alone. Got a coffee after dropping my brother off for his bike and drove

I wish I could explain how I felt In that car with you today. The wind. The sun. The music. You. My hand in yours as you shifted… You’re so fucking beautiful. I think that’s the most relaxed I’ve been

I’m everybody’s drug. Take a hit, get high, throw me away until you need me again. Chase the thrill, chase the feeling. Never permanent. Two things happen when you’re addicted to something, it either kills

Back to square one. I hate it here. It seems like every single time I get my head above water, another wave comes crashing down and the current pulls me under. Just because I’m a good swimmer, doesn’t

I’ll never understand why people do the things they do. Or why I feel the need to sometimes figure out why. Who hurt you? What happened that made you like this? Why can’t you stop? I’ve spent a good majority

I need to be up for work in 3 hours. Pounded a red bull when I got home. Now I’m wide awake. Just laying in the dark listening to music. Mind swirling. Caffeine and nicotine running in my veins. Not even

If anything I say actually makes sense and gets through, I want it to, above all things, be that I forgive you. I can’t sit here and deny that this situation didn’t make me feel less than. That it didn’t

I’m laying here tonight with a hole in my chest. Feels like disappointment Feels like sadness Feels like pain They tell you never to expect anything, cuz then you can’t be let down. I feel like I never