I like my coffee like I like my woman. Cold and bitter.
If heaven is real the only question i have for god is how many times was my chinese food a cat
*eats pizza out of box in bed *falls asleep *wakes up next to leftover pizza Voila! Breakfast in bed!
I hate when my wife asks me to hold her purse and it doesn't match what I'm wearing.
What did the llama said to the other llama? Como se llama?
