My wife and I got into a heated argument. ""I met a man...but I married a boy."" she said, her face full of rage. I said, ""I guess the jokes on you then, paedo.""
Question: Why is divorce so expensive? Answer: Because it's worth it.
William Shatner is going to sponsor a new line of women's jeans made to hide adult diapers underneath. They're going to be called Shatner Pants.
A guy walks up to his friend and says... ""What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?"" His friend says ""I don't know"" The guy says, ""Nothing, you already told her twice.""
I told Siri to use Bing instead of Google.. We both laughed.