I get caught zipping my pants up while standing beside the turkey just one time, and suddenly she never needs help in the kitchen anymore
If spiders ever come to the realization that people are terrified of them, we're fcuked.
I stare at the cats. ""And in space, if you knock something slowly off the table, it just gently floats away."" They look at me in horror.
What Did One Eye Say To Another Eye? Don't Look Now But Something Between Us Smells
Inspired by T.G.I.Fridays, I opened a place called C.L.I.Thursdays. It closed down though because most guys couldnt find it