WE274 || In a love-hate relationship...

Feelings are complex, contradictory and very stressful.

I don't usually talk about hate and love personally, but today I'm going to tell about my day to day in relation to these emotions, with my partner.

Every disagreement that I have with my husband every day makes me hate him for seconds, minutes until the annoyance wears off, I hate that he talks to me by hitting the words, that is, that he raises his tone of voice and is taxing uf, by the way I tell him, "you are not my dad, for you to impose on me like that, I hate you when you talk to me like that..., I am very clear, that every annoyance with him, makes visible hidden needs, that we can express and negotiate.

I think that our conflicts are not our enemies, but the fear that we have of conflict and staying silent, which sometimes I can't stand and I complain to him, for example almost daily I tell him not to leave the sink for me as if it were the place to take a shower, he spreads water everywhere and by the way he doesn't clean it immediately, it's that when I get that area of our hygiene like that I hate it😡, until he cleans it, because I..., I "don't do it" anymore, not that it goes...

We have also had difficult conversations, the kind that eat away at our soul between the famous phrase "I hate you, But, I love you", I am always surprised, because my husband has the ability to listen to me, without interrupting my download, lol and then, that makes me feel like a ray of sunshine, he hugs me when I'm cold, and immediately my anger, the conflict, turns into connection, into Love ❤️.

I believe that hate and love are not resilient and they are NOT the ones who never argue, but the ones who learn to grow thanks to conflict.

Because the love is not measured by the absence of problems, but, by the ability that during these more than 47 years of coexistence we have learned to repair, grow and choose each other again and again every day. Just as they,my parents, have done for 68 years of living together, love, hate, conflicts and patience have grown old, until death do them part.

Janitze 🌹