Putting up with a relationship and sustaining it are not the same thing. One is made out of fear, the other is built between two. Many people confuse the tiredness of enduring alone with the commitment of being in a couple. And no, it is neither the same nor the same.
Sometimes, we spend years loving someone very much and we think that's enough. “He knows I love him,” “she knows how important he is to me.” Uh-huh, and when was the last time you actually told her that?
Look at something, in many families we learned to be, solve, help and accompany, but talking about what we feel is a challenge. And although all that is also love, words are needed, gentlemen.
Because it's one thing to know that someone loves you and it's quite another to hear them say why they love you, what they admire about you or what they are grateful to have you around. In the end, we think it's hard for us to say what we feel, when in fact what it costs us is to be exposed after saying it. And yes, loving in silence can give us a certain sense of protection, but putting it into words implies daring the other to see how much we care.
Loving someone and knowing how to be okay with that person are two different things.
Because there are exhausted couples, with the same old arguments, with a silence that they use to avoid conflict between them, a tiredness that they end up accepting as if it were normal.
That's the real problem, and it's rarely mentioned that clearly. How dangerous it is to have so much and start feeling that everything seems too little to you. A life that five years ago you would have celebrated can easily become a life that today you criticize because another goal, another person or thing that is still missing appeared.
It happens also with people, your partner becomes a habit, the family is “always there”, in fact, even our children grow up in front of us...
...And so each achievement quickly becomes the new floor from where we demand the next one. Looking at life from that perspective, you can spend years chasing a feeling of ”when I have this, now I do", while what you wanted before has already lost prominence. If it makes you HAPPY, keep going. No one has to understand our decisions.
How many times have we fought with our partner about the same thing, with another name? Today it was about the money, yesterday it was the family, before it was the time. The mask changes, the habit stays and everything repeats itself like a loop, the value of empathy is forgotten and this does not mean not agreeing with everything, but it is trying to understand before judging and, above all, not being indifferent to what others are living. Do we care about what happens to the other when it doesn't directly affect us?
Janitze.🌷
Separator made with Canva by 
Any images in this post are taken with my iPhone 12, the Infinix pro-note 30 or with the camera eighties Rolleiflex 2.8 f, and edited by me with Canva
Translation with |DeepL