Single, me?! ...or looking for spare parts...

Singleness should not be romanticized or demonized. Because there are two types of singles: the one who is single building himself up, and the one who is single desperate, checking the phone to see who wrote to him, entering his ex's networks or accepting dates with people he doesn't even like “just in case”.

A great friend, Lili, she lives romanticizing singleness, I think it's a mistake of many people, filling gaps...

That's why she is living au singleness in freedom, and not in debauchery says Lili, adeas she feels at peace and with a lot of tranquility. I think that singleness is the only time where we can fix what was broken in previous relationships, and most people waste that time looking for a quick replacement to replace the previous piece.

She, Lili separated almost 8 years ago from the one who was her husband for 33 years and is still alone. Because it's hard to get a good partner these days and she says she's a grown woman. And I grew up in a time where there were principles and moral norms that he still maintains and it's hard for him to get involved with these people now, *too light, I would say. Everything easy, given away. Lili doesn't understand. And well, she prefers to go on alone.

I think that's why we repeat patterns, why we get tangled up with the same kind of person over and over again.

And no, friends, it's time to put a stop to that and really work on that stage, to unravel singleness and that doesn't always mean being without a partner. Sometimes it means having no one to talk to about what is really happening to us. Not knowing who to ask if what you're feeling is normal. Not having a space where you can say things without feeling judged.

The most valuable thing is to have a place to keep growing, reinventing and building healthier relationships, starting with the relationship with oneself. It is always good to remember every day that it is never too late to start a new stage, with whom to feel understood, listened to and accompanied. We reach a point in our life when we become aware that time is money, therefore there is not enough to waste it on undeserved situations or people.

Lili no longer cares about anything more, she fulfills the goals she set for herself thirty years ago, nor does she give more importance to what they will say, because she finally understood that the real reason for living is not in a nice car, nor in the presumption of expensive trips. With maturity we understand that it fills the soul more to be held by the hand of the one we love, than a Mercedes Benz in the garage. Maybe this is the space that my friend Lili, has been looking for a long time.

Janitze 🦋