Their has come to be this strange contradiction in the way we talk about women and money. A woman who says she wants financial security in a relationship is quickly labelled materialistic, as though wanting a financially stable partner automatically means she doesn't care about love but i ask myself why can't a woman want both? Why can't she genuinely love someone and still enjoy nice restaurants, expensive gifts, comfortable holidays, and a certain standard of living?
The argument often becomes “If he gave you a handmade(diy) bracelet, wouldn't you appreciate it?” Of course but appreciating someone's effort doesn't mean pretending you wouldn't also prefer a beautiful Gucci bracelet. We should be honest about what we like rather than turning relationships into competitions over who can appear less materialistic. Money i believe also matters for practical reasons. Marriage comes with rent, healthcare, children, education, emergencies and periods when one partner may not be able to work. Financial compatibility is therefore not necessarily greed, sometimes it is simply about wanting a partner whose financial habits and ambitions are compatible with yours. The key word here for me is Ambition, i make it a point of note to ask every girl i've dated what does she want in life and what type of life she wants to live.
That doesn't mean women should date men solely because they are rich. There is a huge difference between loving someone who happens to be wealthy and loving someone because they are wealthy. The former is perfectly reasonable, the latter can become exploitative, it can be exploitative both ways, like will you stay with a abuser because he is rich? and honestly, why should it be embarrassing to admit that you like nice things? I respect women who say it the way it is from the very start of seeing someone, especially with regards to what they want. If you can afford them yourself and you also want a partner who enjoys spoiling you, what's wrong with that? Relationships are not supposed to be exercises in pretending we don't have preferences.
But then again, i ask myself where do you draw the line between having reasonable financial standards and being materialistic?, is being materialistic even a bad thing. Who isnt materialistic in some way?
