In relationships, you have to ”learn to lose"...

When it is not reciprocated it becomes harmful.

The relationships that really work are not born of a spontaneous flow. They are woven with daily dedication: through courageous changes, difficult conversations and the constant willingness to readjust the course. It is not luck or destiny to have a healthy connection... it is the fruit of a mutual, tender and determined effort.

Although we will not always receive what we give, being in relationships where we give and give and receive nothing ends up becoming harmful. If we get hooked up with someone who only receives from us, but does not give to us, the situation ceases to be healthy.

It is worth warning that you can receive different things in life than you expect and that's fine, but not receiving anything when you give everything is undoubtedly a lousy business.

There is a reason why relationships that last over time are so few, and it has nothing to do with the love being strong, but because very few people have learned to tolerate the frustration that comes with really loving someone. On the other hand, when you are lacking with infidelity, something is clear, the other has no values, no loyalty, and no value to commitment.

And who is unfaithful, is again and again, for the same reason, does not value himself much less values the other, neither his partner nor the one he chose to be unfaithful. Why? Because he's going to do it again. Of course, in relationships you have to learn to lose”.

And that, far from being resigned or annulled, is to understand that the ego and the bond cannot occupy the same space, that every time you choose to be right over the connection, the distance grows a little more.

Sometimes enabling is the most generous and liberating movement of conscious love. That is, it is not about changing the other or “improving” him. It's about giving him permission and support to unfold his potential, express his truest voice, live his values and allow himself to shine. This includes celebrating strengths, respecting the rhythm, encouraging our dreams and creating spaces so that we can be who we really are, without having to shrink, please or compete. Do you see it? To sustain is not to fix. It is to create a safe space where the other can feel without collapsing. Because healthy relationships are worked on, nurtured, fallen and rebuilt.

Needing attention, affection and presence is not emotional dependence. Preferring to be with the one you love either. To be afraid of losing it, much less. To be human is not to be broken: it is to be alive and to need those who do us good... That's called commitment, not destiny.

Thanks for reading me. Janitze 🦋