@syllem nos invita a hablar sobre cómo afrontamos esos momentos donde recibimos. Comentarios o acciones con motivo de bajar nuestros ánimos hacia lo que nos esforzamos y para esto nos invita a contestar algunas preguntas.
Feeling unmotivated and without energy to do what we want can be something that we constantly struggle with on a personal level, due to the ups and downs that we will face in the process, and although we can provoke this sensation ourselves due to breakdowns, there are times when it comes from third parties and others who are part of our environment, since for many our steps may be seen as wrong and they will be willing to say so even if it affects us.
Para mí este tema es de los más importantes, ya que se puede decir que es la herramienta fundamental que tenemos para marcar si lograremos o no lo que queremos, ya que la motivación y el ánimo marcan mucho a las personas y son estas las que nos impulsan a darlo todo, por lo que siempre debemos motivarnos a nosotros mismos o, si somos padres, a los niños desde pequeños para que estos tengan lo necesario y sepan cómo afrontar momentos similares que vengan de otros.
What is your perspective on this topic?
Since I was little, my grandmother has always told me that words have a lot of power and strength, especially towards people. For that reason, I have always tried not to express myself negatively towards those I love and to understand the meaning of words.
For me, this topic is one of the most important, since it can be said that it is the fundamental tool we have to determine whether or not we will achieve what we want, since motivation and encouragement greatly influence people and are what drive us to give our all, so we must always motivate ourselves or, if we are parents, motivate children from a young age so that they have what they need and know how to face similar moments that come from others.
Muchos dirían que alejarse ayuda y, si es verdad, ayuda mucho lo sé porque los años que viví sola me enseñaron que soy capaz de mucho y que mis métodos siempre y cuando me hagan feliz, están bien, pero al volver a casa es como revivir de nuevo todo. En parte, incluso esto es algo que no se puede decir a la ligera a las personas, ya que hay quienes lo toman bien y quienes no, incluso si estamos recibiéndolas desde niños, como es el caso.
Verán, muchos padres suelen usar esto como un regaño, como un modo de retar incluso, pero a veces no miden sus palabras, ya que, aunque suene difícil, a veces no es la voz de un tercero la que trae espinas, sino la de tus seres cercanos. Yo crecí con palabras como "van a terminar de sirvientas de alguien por no estudiar", "van a terminar lavando baños públicos", "no hacen nada productivo y eso las llevará a ser mantenidas" e incluso la típica "van a salir con un embarazo por andar haciendo cosas a sus antojos". Es irónico en mi caso, ya que tenemos la cosa de que crecimos con el método de crianza de no salir, no dejar que nadie venga a casa, y nos trajo problemas en los estudios por temas de tareas grupales, pero justamente esto desencadenaba los comentarios de que no lograríamos nada en la vida de manera repetitiva.
Has anyone ever told you that you won't be able to achieve something?
For this question my answer is a total yes. There have been many times when I have moments where these phrases of "you don't do anything", "that won't get you anywhere", "you won't eat with that", "you're not good at this" have been present in such a way that they have even been engraved in my mind, appearing in every episode of depression that I have or anxiety attack every time I fail at something, leading me to isolate myself completely, because yes, the words said in that way constantly are harmful.
Many would say that getting away helps and, if it's true, it helps a lot. I know this because the years I lived alone taught me that I am capable of a lot and that my methods, as long as they make me happy, are fine, but coming back home is like reliving everything again. In part, this is something that cannot be said lightly to people, since there are those who take it well and those who do not, even if we are receiving it since childhood, as is the case.
You see, many parents tend to use this as a scolding, as a way of even challenging, but sometimes they do not measure their words, since, although it sounds difficult, sometimes it is not the voice of a third party that brings thorns, but that of those close to you. I grew up with words like "they will end up as someone's maid for not studying", "they will end up cleaning public bathrooms", "they do nothing productive and that will lead them to being kept" and even the typical "they will end up pregnant for doing things as they please". It's ironic in my case, since we have the thing that we grew up with the parenting method of not going out, not letting anyone come home, and it brought us problems in studies due to group assignments, but this precisely triggered the comments that we would not achieve anything in life repeatedly.
How have you responded to that?
My way and the way I have helped myself is to isolate myself from this; although I live in the same house where things like this happen constantly, I tend to stay in my little space, turn a deaf ear and constantly focus on my goals. Over the years I have learned to ignore much of everything; I still need to, but something I have is that I can count on some people who allow me to vent and drain a lot of this. They are even part of that helping hand that helps me get up and move forward, since they simply listen to everything and even know me so well that they know how to motivate me and be able to face everything.
En mi caso fue una mezcla de personas externas con parte familiar, desde personas con las que conviví en la universidad que me desmotivaban diciendo que la informática no era para mí, hasta mis padres y familiares mostrando poco a poco apoyo para mis estudios. Todo esto lo pude superar hasta que llegó mi último semestre. Actualmente tengo tres intentos de tesis fallidos, tanto por problemas con el lugar donde la hacía, que poco a poco en las tres ocasiones abandonaron, el dejar que hiciera la tesis hasta el pedir ayuda a familiares en buscar a alguien que me asesorara, recibiendo un "yo de eso no sé, ve tú sola cómo hacer", dirán que es algo que pasa mucho o que se puede superar, pero el estar literalmente sola sin el equipo necesario, la asesoría correcta o la motivación por parte de terceros llevó a que me rompiera y simplemente no siguiera.
Por eso mismo, en las demás metas suelo ser más protectora, ya que sé lo que causa este tema y por ende lucho diario por mis metas y mi propia motivación y la de quienes están hombro a hombro de manera equilibrada para poder seguir. Y bueno, este fue mi aporte a ese tema con lo que es mi punto de vista y mis experiencias, las cuales espero puedan aportar algo importante, así como llevar a reflexionar a quienes tal vez estén en las mismas.
Has it motivated you more or rather makes you give up on everything?
In this case I can answer both, since I have people who motivate me to show that I can and that I am close to my goals, which I am very grateful for and above all for having that patience to listen to me and show me that attention in getting to know me and allowing it to be a nice communication. As well as people who have managed to demotivate me so much that I ended up abandoning important things like my studies. For this I want to explain a little so that it can be an example of what it is like when we are constantly demotivated to the breaking point.
In my case it was a mix of external people with family members, from people I lived with at university who demotivated me by saying that computer science was not for me, to my parents and relatives gradually showing support for my studies. I was able to overcome all this until my last semester arrived. I currently have three failed attempts at a thesis, both due to problems with the place where I was doing it, which little by little on all three occasions they abandoned, letting me do the thesis, and asking for help from family members to find someone to advise me, receiving an "I don't know about that, see how to do it yourself." People will say that it is something that happens a lot or that it can be overcome, but being literally alone without the necessary equipment, the right advice or motivation from third parties led me to break down and simply not continue.
For this reason, in the other goals I tend to be more protective, since I know what this issue causes and therefore I fight daily for my goals and my own motivation and that of those who are shoulder to shoulder in a balanced way to be able to continue. And well, this was my contribution to that topic with what is my point of view and my experiences, which I hope can contribute something important, as well as lead those who may be in the same situation to reflect.
Thank you very much for reading this post
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