I have barely had distrust issues because it takes time for me to trust people and before it gets to the point where most people will earn my trust, they must have shown their true color and once I discover the true nature of a person I call a friend, what I contemplate on is whether to unfriend them or put the relationship at distant, it doesn't bother me whether to stop trusting the person because I definitely haven't trusted the person.
A lot people who are close to me understand the fact that I don't easily trust people but it doesn't stop me from allowing someone to get very close to me. I am a jovial person, I care about others and interact with people the best way I can but people find it weird when I say that it takes more than someone becoming my friend to earn my trust. Being my friend means we communicate, check up on and support one another, and there is more to trust than just these things.
Trust is a classified feeling and for me to say that I trust someone, the person must have done something great that amazes me a lot repeatedly.
Someone once asked me, "Why you do care and even put yourself in a tight situation because of people despite knowing that they could turn out to be a different person from what you have always known?".
My response was, "I always expect the worse from a fellow human so I am not always surprised when people do some things but it might make me very sad because while some people are trying to make the world a better place, there are some dragging things back".
I always ask a question which is, why can't we just repay good with good, must we always repay kindness with evil?
Some years ago, a guy I helped stole about $350 from me. It is a lot of money here and I had to refund the money in installments.
I didn't have enough to give him when he cried to me for help and helping him with a job was all I could do. He absconded with the money and I couldn't find him. After a while, he came back begging me because things had gotten worse for him and people suggested that I arrested him but I didn't.
I remembered clearly when he said that he betrayed my trust in him and I told him that I didn't trust him even when I put myself at risk for him, I only played my role to humanity. It was then I made him understand that he is not the first person to do such to me.
He is not the first and won't be the last but that doesn't stop me from doing whatever is in my capacity to help others.
There is a Yoruba adage that says, if you close your eyes for bad people to pass you by, you won't know when the good ones will pass by as well".
To avoid having trust issues, I just do my best for people without any form of trust and it is left for the person to do what's right or not as long as my life or reputation is not involved.
You might be wondering what led me to exhibit this feeling of distrust always, I wasn't like that from childhood. I use to be a child who trust even strangers but one man changed everything. My dad used to be someone I trusted a lot and even though he failed many of his promises, I still had a strong level of trust in him until he made me realize that I was stupid to have trusted in him.
It got me worried for a time, I always felt like if my dad could betray the trust I had in him, why should I be talking about trust with people I have barely known for a year or two?
This doesn't mean that I don't love him, I love him and many other people but I just don't feel it's right to invest the feeling of trust in people because I love them. I only know about my feelings for them and don't know what they feel about me.
It is quite the opposite for me because I have earned the trust of many people by just being myself.
I don't know if I sounded like I don't trust anyone in any part of this article and the truth is that I do but the number is few and these are people who have proven times without numbers that they deserve my trust. Despite trusting them, I still always have it at the back of my mind that the only thing that doesn't change about humans is death.
Anyone can decide to become the opposite person that they are but I won't be surprised because I have always expected the worst from people so whenever they reveal who they really are, it doesn't hurt much.
Distrust is not completely a bad feeling and I know many people like me who use the feeling as a preventive measure from getting hurt deeply.