Rejecting gifts is one of the things people find offensive in my culture, and as a minimalist, it can be difficult when you have to tell people who don't understand your lifestyle or values what you want and don't want as gifts. It has been said to my face that I am proud for giving out what I was gifted, but I didn't have a choice since it's of no use to me, and things like that escalate quickly because you don't even get the opportunity to explain yourself.
I remember a time when I had a female crush who knew how much I love blue clothes. She made it a duty to buy me anything blue, but it got to a time I started getting irritated once I looked at my wardrobe. I started giving those clothes out because turning down the gift would definitely send a wrong message, and in the end, it wasn't even the best of options. She discovered, and it caused a misunderstanding between us.
There are other cases like that, and it affected my relationships with good people. Some were patient to listen to my reasons, while some felt like they didn't worth much to me, that's why I choose to give their gifts out, which isn't true. My actions might look inappropriate to them, but just like every minimalist, I detest clutters and wouldn't allow it build around me just because I don't want to hurt someone's feelings. It's like hurting myself to protect someone else's feelings, which doesn't work for me.
As I grew deeper in my minimalist practice, I realised the importance of speaking about the things I want as a gift so I don't get to hurt anyone's feelings. I don't always want to be seen as a culprit when I am actually the victim. And it worked, I barely get unnecessary gifts because my close pals and family have cultivated the habit of asking me what I want as gifts.
As much as I don't want my space cluttered with gifts that doesn't serve any purpose to me, I also don't give out gifts that will end up as clutters. I am not always perfect with gifting people though, but I do my best to give out things that I will also appreciate if those things were given to me.
My first approach to gifting people is knowing the person's needs, and if it's something I can take care of, my help comes in form of a gift. Let's imagine me gifting a hungry person clothes, it's a good thing, but such person would have preferred food stuffs or cash over anything else. Understanding people's need always help me come up with the perfect gift ideas, and I don't see how something you are in need of will end up as clutters.
I also enjoy gifting people with memorable moments, which some people don't consider as a gift. This is one of the things I appreciate a lot, but it's one of the rarest gifts you can receive. A friend gave me two movie tickets a few years ago, telling me to invite one person, and I went with my girlfriend. Unknowing to me, he also gave the tickets to some other friends, and we all showed up at the cinema.
After the movie, we just couldn't go home immediately. We went somewhere else to relax and have fun, creating beautiful memories I am reflecting on today because it's one of those moments I have always cherished. It might not look like a gift, but that's what it means to me. I try to gift people with beautiful experiences, and it's one of the best gifts you can give because it doesn't go or end up a clutter. It will always remain something you can talk about in decades, and that's something I consider a perfect gift.
I have given material things as gifts, but the things I mentioned above crosses my mind first whenever I am thinking of gift ideas. I love it simple, and I believe gifts should bring joy without adding clutter.
