There are times in life when we help people because we truly care about them, not because we are expecting anything in return. I have had experiences where helping someone brought something good into my life, and I have also helped people without receiving anything in return. Both experiences taught me important lessons about kindness, expectations, and being a good person.
I remember a time when someone I knew was going through a very difficult period. The person needed help with something important, and even though I did not have much myself, I decided to help. I gave what I could and also spent time encouraging the person. At that moment, I was not thinking about what I would get in return. I simply felt that if I could make someone's difficult situation a little easier, then I should do it.
Some time later, something good happened to me. I was going through my own difficult situation and needed help. Surprisingly, a total stranger that I don't know from anywhere helped me that day. When we do things for people it's not always the person that will help you. It made me understand that kindness can sometimes come back to us when we least expect it.
That experience made me happy, but it also taught me not to help people only because I expect them to help me someday. If I had been helping that person with the hope of getting something back, I might have been disappointed.
I have also had another experience where I helped someone and nothing happened in return. I supported a lodge mate when she needed help, I was in school then. She didn't have anything to eat and her parents have not sent her money for upkeep for the month, so I gave her from the little I had in my room. Some months later, I didn't have money to attend lecture and it was very important I attended that lecture, I asked her to borrow me money that I'll refund it but she said no. She bluntly told me that she has but she won't give me that it's bother business if I attend the lecture or not.
At first, I felt hurt. I asked myself why I should continue helping people when some people would not even remember me when I needed them. It was painful because I had expected at least some concern from the person. But with time, I understood something important. Helping someone does not mean that the person owes me anything.
These two experiences changed the way I see kindness. I still love helping people, but I have learned to be careful. I no longer give everything I have just because someone needs something. I first think about my own situation and my responsibilities. I have children and a family to care for, so I must also take care of myself.
The biggest lesson I learned is that we should help people because it is the right thing to do, not because we are keeping a record of what they owe us. Some people will appreciate our kindness, some will return it, and others may forget it completely.
Even when nothing comes back, I do not want someone else's behaviour to change the kind of person I am. Kindness is still valuable. However, I have also learned that being kind does not mean allowing people to take advantage of me. I can help people and still have boundaries. That balance is one of the most important lessons life has taught me.
Image is mine.
