Never break the peace which good and true men make between you and others.

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Each Thursday I select a Viking quote, sometimes randomly but ofttimes based upon relevance or meaning to my life at that point in time. Despite these phrases being over a thousand years old I believe most can still offer value in modern society and I find it interesting to ponder, weigh and measure them. _{original im src}

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This week's Viking quote

Never break the peace which good and true men make between you and others - Njal's Saga

A little while ago I introduced an acquaintance to a friend of mine with the view to the friend potentially engaging him as an employee within his business. I saw it as a good fit and I felt confident the acquaintance and friend would get along and mutually benefit from the introduction. I also felt nice about helping both of them, people I respected and liked, with the potential opportunity.

It backfired.

The acquaintance was tardy with communication, rescheduled appointments multiple times and failed to appear on one occasion, was careless with his presentation and conversation and, I'd not expected any of it. I was a shocked to be honest, dismayed and proper angry by the end of the scenario.

My friend was ok about it. I mean, he was ok that I'd tried to help him through the introduction and didn't hold me accountable in any way. I was embarrassed though and more than a little disgruntled with the chap, the acquaintance, who I'd tried to help. I felt disrespected.

I selected the quote this week based around that scenario.

It's not often I go out on a limb and suggest to someone, who trusts my judgement, that they should consider a third party based solely on my recommendation. It happens though, and has worked out quite well for both parties. Those occasions left me with a good feeling, the fact I've had the chance to help them, and the situation has been an all-round success. But yes, there's been the polar opposite as well. Point in case, above.

I believe it is an honour to be recommended to others by a peer, colleague, friend, client or family member and, as such, the opportunity should be treated with the utmost of care and respect. There's much to lose if it's not given the attention and effort it is due and it can place both relationships in jeopardy, and one's own feeling of self esteem.

I've been referred, introduced and recommended in the the past and on those occasions have felt a little pressure to perform a little better than usual or, at the very least, the pressure and desire to work a little harder. It just seems the right thing to do as it shows respect to the other two individuals, and to oneself.

It takes so much effort to develop the thoughts and attitudes that lead us to the actions which cause people to see value, and want to refer or introduce us to others; it takes time and persistence. However, it takes just a short time to lose that value and respect. Soiling someone's good name, reputation or credibility by acting poorly and disrespecting a recommendation or introduction they have made on your behalf seems counter-productive to me and, on those occasions it's occurred, I've never come up with a valid or acceptable reason for it, including the case above.

I've been left with no choice but to re-evaluate my estimation of that person, the acquaintance, and in a mental note to self have filed away that revised evaluation; it is unlikely to revert. I haven't delved into any reasoning that individual may have as it's not relevant; there's rarely a reason to disrespect someone in a scenario like this. If he was not keen he should not have pursued it and should have declined politely and retained his dignity instead. Instead, a person whom I thought highly of has dropped away and, if I'm honest, will never again hold my respect. He disrespected our relationship by accepting the introduction and acting so poorly and compromised my relationship I have with my friend. That's inexcusable in my estimation.

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That's it for this week, a thousand year-old Viking quote that reminds of the value of a referral or introduction and that one must treat it with care, respect and value rather than treat it callously and with contempt as the individual above.

In the comments below, please feel free to disagree with my interpretation and add your own if you like, tell a story around this quote or general topic or simply react to it and let me know what you think, how you see it, how it relates to you or someone you know.

Skol.