New me - Same but different

It's been said that I ain't getting any prettier, and I agree.

- G-dog -

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I'm getting older each day as humans tend to do, and along with the passing of time comes aging; none of us are immune. Some age better than others for various reasons however no matter the person, time affects change. I guess what sets individuals apart from others is how they deal with the passing of time, move with it, and the inevitable changes that occur.

I take care of myself and work to stay fit, strong and as healthy as possible despite having a medical issue that requires constant attention. I look after my skin, sleep a lot, eat well, drink plenty of water, don't smoke and stay active physically and mentally; there's not much more I can do. And yet, I'm not getting any prettier. I'm ok with it to be honest, I never was much to look at, average at best, and it's not what I look like that defines me anyway. Right?

What's more important than looks is who I am and just as time has wrought changes in my physical appearance it has caused great change in my emotional, spiritual and mental state of being as well.

I've learned many things through success and failure, made changes and redeployed and learned again, through more success and failure; right now...well, I've never known more about, or had a better understanding of, myself, others and the world around me than ever before in my life. Not to boast, but I think I'm going ok.

Those changes have been profound and others minor, some have come through terrible events, personal epiphanies, great moments and just through natural progression, but those reinventions haven't changed the core of me, merely built on that foundation. I've reinvented myself over and over throughout life for personal reasons, professional and just because people change as time passes...but I'm the same me.

If you could turn me inside out at age ten, twenty, thirty and forty and investigate the core of me there'd be vast differences but essentially I'm the same me. Each reinvention hasn't created a new me, just a better version of the last.

A couple days ago, I went into the city to do some shopping for myself. The mission was to buy some new clothing and refresh my look a little and as I browsed, tried things on and bought stuff, I thought about how I've dressed in the past and how it reflected aspects of my life...and who I was at the time. It's interesting to look back on those styles with the perspective of hindsight and understand who I actually was and why and how I've changed and progressed since.

It prompted thoughts on my journey from what was to what is in respect of my personality, thoughts and attitudes and how I deal with things now opposed to the past. Over a coffee and French baguette filled with stuff I concluded that I'm my best version now, although I still make mistakes (loads of them), am subject to failure and fallibility and yep...I ain't getting any prettier. I guess I'm more willing to admit all of that now than I might have been at twenty.

Right now, I'm the culmination of me and everything I've done, said, experienced, the places I've been, the good and bad I've done, mistakes and failures and the good times and success I've had...if you put me in a blender and vitamised me like a smoothie then poured me into a vessel, well, it'd look like me. And furthermore, I work now so that the future vitamised-smoothie me can also be his best version.

I pride myself on dressing well, appropriately for the moment, and showing who I am through how I appear outwardly.

I care about how I look and, whilst I'm not fussy or obsessed with my looks, I present as well as possible. I think it's a reflection of what's inside me. It's the same with how I keep my vehicles, home, office, workshop, garden, how I treat people...everything really. I put my best foot forward, the ability for which comes from within.

What a person thinks I look like doesn't have much of a bearing on my life though and those who care about me see me from the inside out rather than simply what I might look like. That doesn't mean I don't try to look good...I do it for myself more than anyone else though. If I feel I look good, or have at least made an effort to do so, I have more confidence and that's a good feeling that expands outwards.

I bought my stuff and left the city the same man I was when I arrived; there was no new me and I'm ok with it.

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We live in a world where people filter themselves on social medias to "improve" their physical appeal and feeling of validation or self-esteem, there's an entire industry based around it, but more importantly is how a person improves themselves from within.What matters is how we treat those we value, respect and love. What also matters is integrity, honour, courage, humility, kindness, gratitude, manners, courtesy and generosity. I don't just mean when people are looking either, *it's what we do when no one is looking that truly counts.

Anyway, during the course of writing this post I got a little older and less pretty than I ever was (as if I ever was) and ('ll not get the time back. The take-away for me though, the value, is knowing how I feel inside, who I am from the inside out and how that translates to the world (and people) around me.

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What are your thoughts? How do you feel you personally present to others and how do you respond to those who present to you in turn? I understand that our initial responses are based on physical appearance but at what point does it switch over to more deeper attractions like personality traits, the true person? Does it even switch over for you, or is the physical aspect your lasting focus? Feel free to comment below.