I'm scared of who the world is turning me to be.
I've always prided myself on being someone who would rather confront someone about something they did to me that didn't sit well with me, and this was because I've always felt that talking about it with that person helps me to let go and settle the issue quickly without having any grudges.
It turns out that in as much as I've thought that was the right way to do things, the rest of the world doesn't. For a while now, I've been finding myself in situations where whenever I try to explain to someone why whatever it is they did to me was rude or uncalled for, I get told that I either complain too much or I get offended quickly.
But in reality, I'm not really complaining but just calling your attention to something you did that I felt you shouldn't have, and the only reason I do that is to prevent myself from eventually getting offended.
It has gotten so bad to the point where I've seen a couple of people distance themselves around me, and that was scary, so scary to the fact that I saw myself indirectly being forced to no longer speak up, but to swallow whatever it is they did and just move on, all in a bid to keep that friendship.
A couple of months ago, I found out that a friend of mine had gossiped about me to someone else. The gossip wasn't the problem, but the topic being gossiped was. And this was because it was something sensitive that I had told this friend of mine, something personal that I had hoped they would keep to themselves but found out they told someone else about it.
When I discovered what they had done, my first instinct had been to approach them and question them about why they did what they did, but I ended up letting it go, not because I felt there was no need to talk about it, but because I felt the end result would mean us no longer being friends.
The downside to taking that decision now is that I'm now very careful about the things I say around this person. It's been about six weeks since I found out, and they still have no idea that I know what they did.
