"Wow, I bet you won't get caught for the Jimmy Fallon show either."
"You looked determined earlier. What's wrong now?"
"I'm just full of memories, Brat. I miss helping dad on his boat, fishing with him."
"I've been helping you fish, but you give up easy."
What Brat said was true. For the last month we've been going out three times a week a little further out in the bay. He works hard and I try to make up for his work, but I think the melancholy is making my rod run out of suet. Trying to knock down the tension in the atmosphere, I said:
"Love, I think it's time to go back. Look! The sky is overcast."
"Wow, where did this overcast come from? The new weather guy must be coming from the scam department."
Brat wasted no time in starting engines. The weather was hurrying to get uglier and uglier. And, although Brat looked confident at the helm, I kept fiddling with my hands out of nervousness. I didn't hold back and asked:
"Sweetie, are we going to be okay? Look, the sea is getting rough."
"I'm sure it will be today."
"Today what?" I asked with my heart in my mouth.
"I'm sure we're like the Titanic today."
"Brat, stop this nonsense! Can you stop acting like you're seven years old?" I cried with my soul.
"Come on, honey, I'm just kidding to calm you down, without having to tell you to «calm down»."
I wanted to respond to such a super idea, but instead I decided to concentrate on keeping my nervousness as much as I could. The sea was no stranger to me in any form. For as long as I can remember, it has been always close to me. But the disappearance of my beloved father—sigh—in a storm has made me want nothing to do with the sea ever again.
I was so immersed in my thoughts that everything around me was muted. By the time I came to myself, I saw the sea very choppy and the tranquility of the bay far away. As if in a choked voice, I said:
"Brat, honey, do we make it to the bay, wouldn't it be a good idea to contact the coast guard?"
But I got no answer.
The wind was blowing furiously in every direction and the seagulls were flying like pale arrows cawing madly all over the place.
"Brat! Answer me. No more jokes for today. "
There was no answer again.
Then, with my legs like jelly and the boat wiggling like drunk, I wanted to go to the helm to ask him what the heck we were going to do.
The short walk to the helm was scary, but it was even scarier when I didn't see Brat carrying it. I felt cold, paralyzed, light... But I stopped being a statue when I heard a scream from the sea. No, it wasn't the sea, it was Brat fighting the waves.
"Mary, quick, grab the life jackets!"
I was so shocked I barely reacted.
"Mary, jump in now!" Brat shouted before he was swallowed up by a wave.
In the midst of all the chaos, the smiling image of my father crossed my mind. He was the reason to put fear aside, to calm the storm inside me.
Driven by so much adrenaline, I grabbed the jackets in an instant and was ready to dive in. Maybe I didn't know how to fish, but since I was a little girl, I had been very good at swimming.
Once in the water, the feeling was indescribable. I couldn't believe how desperate and happy I was at the same time to swim in the open sea after so much inhibition.
Within seconds I was able to locate Brat. He was frantically struggling to keep from drowning, and with each stroke I just longed to reach him. I don't know where I got so much energy to go against the sea. It was probably love that drove me like that. It was the most triumphant moment of my life when I was about to take him by the arm. But, out of nowhere, the current first slowed me down, and then threw me in the opposite direction to him. His murky image became more and more distant and my strength to swim less and less latent, as I hugged the life jackets as if they were Brat. Then I was just lulled to sleep by the rushing sea.
"Mary, honey, it's Brat, can you hear me?" I remember hearing after a long silence.
"This is not heaven, okay? We're still alive. Yes, I see you're smiling. That's good. That's my Mary."
At first, I thought it was a dream. Some time later I learned those were words of Brat's I actually heard in a brief awakening I had in the hospital.
After several days and finally at home, recovered, I can say that I am the luckiest woman alive. Brat first told me that he was able to call the coast guard before he lost control and fell into the raging sea. Then he tearfully showed me what was the ultrasound of our first baby. We had already suspected it and the hospital visit confirmed it. I remember that day we held each other so tightly and for so long that the whole world disappeared.
It's been 3 months since that day and we keep going to Brickford dock near the harbor every now and then to get the baby familiar with his future life. We have already bought him his baby shark pajamas and even a toy fishing rod. We dream of the day when the three of us can happily catch dozens of sardines.
