I have a friend who struggled with a toxic relationship for years. After finally breaking free from it, he realized that he couldn't imagine life without the same toxic person, simply because he had grown used to her behavior over the years. He called me to say he was going back to her, admitting he couldn’t stop thinking about her. At that moment, I felt sorry for him because I understood what he was going through. However, the truth is that he put himself in this situation.
One thing that many people don’t understand about toxicity is that it can be very addictive. Once you become accustomed to it, you may find yourself craving it. The truth is that most humans are drawn to tension and situations that keep them on their toes. In a relationship where there is no peace, it might initially seem unbearable. However, if you allow yourself to adapt to the chaos, you may eventually become accustomed to it. Even after leaving a toxic relationship, you might find yourself longing for the attention and turmoil you experienced.
Leave when you have the chance
The truth about staying with toxic people is that once you become addicted to them, it becomes difficult to let them go. Even when you move on to a healthier relationship, you may struggle to adapt, not because the new partner isn't good, but because your brain has been conditioned to associate chaos with love. If you're not careful, you might find yourself repeating behaviors from your toxic ex. Unfortunately, there isn't a straightforward solution to this; you just have to approach relationships differently.
There is no cure for this other than giving yourself time to heal. It’s essential to surround yourself with people who bring you peace so that you can start experiencing it yourself. You may feel like you can't cope right now, but when you are determined to change, you will gradually become accustomed to being a peaceful person again. This is why it's crucial to recognize when someone is a toxic influence in your life, especially if you know they are unlikely to change. In such cases, it is often better to distance yourself from that person, as you may inadvertently adopt their toxic traits.
You can't change anybody
The truth is that you cannot change anyone. A common mistake people make is believing they can change toxic individuals when, in fact, that is a false hope. You cannot change someone who isn’t ready to change. It is crucial that, when considering change, the individual must be willing and prepared to accept it. This is the only way genuine transformation can occur. If the person in question is not ready to change, no matter how hard you try, things will remain the same. That is why it is often better to walk away rather than complain and tolerate toxic behavior.
thanks for your time.
