15 June 2026, Freewriters Community Daily Writing Prompt Day 3135: I can’t drive that!
“So, tell us a little bit more about this, Capt. Hamilton – Tinyville has its own treasure map and the people need to know.”
Nine-year-old Vertran Stepforth and his big brother 16-year-old Tom were jointly interviewing Capt. Ironwood Hamilton of the three-man Tinyville police force, and he was smiling and being interviewed while the appropriate heavy equipment was being brought to the spot to deal with the fallen tree in the Trent yard and the massive chest entangled in its roots.
“Man, it is a shame I'm so short and it takes time to grow up because here Cousin Ironwood has his beautiful F-150 Ford here and I can't drive that!” nine-year-old George Ludlow said.
“Well, we could take turns – I'd get down on the floor and work the pedals and stuff while you steer, and then we can switch!” nine-year-old Milton Trent said.
“Milton, you just got out of being grounded – we gotta plan our stuff a little better because I can't deal out here without my best friend,” George said. “And, stealing a whole captain who is also a whole major's truck is not a good idea in addition to being a crime.”
“Is crime ever a good idea, though?” Milton said. “I mean, crime is dumb anyway.”
“Yes, but there's levels to this,” George said. “Like, Cousin Harry has an F-150 too, but the man is the Angel of Death, so that's a no, kind of like I will not be trying to drive anything Papa has until he puts permission in writing.”
“Oh, those kinds of levels, like my dad and my grandmas – and really Pop-Pop too, because anytime a man can bury you alive in just his pocket change, you gotta understand that you gotta be careful,” Milton said.
“And then you have Vanna, and I have Edwina to deal with, and, quiet as it is kept, you really don't want to mess with Eleanor and Glendella either,” George said. “Glendella and Eleanor will tell you about yourself and then show you how dumb you are in ways that will have you wondering why you even got up in the morning.”
“Yeah, I heard about how you found out about your baby brother Rob and his 40-inch leap from a running start,” Milton said.
“And there's Rob, just like you have Gracie,” George said. “Like I said, there's levels to this. Crime is dumb, but there's levels to this.”
“When you start getting beat down by your baby siblings, it is time to go to Jesus and get your life together, because you are messing up for real,” Milton said. “It's like the Lord is just letting anything happen to you so you get right.”
“Yeah,” George said, “that's exactly what it is. You're right, because there really is no other way to explain it.”
“But still, God is good,” Milton said, “because Gracie is just the miniature of Grandma Jubilee and Rob is just the miniature of your grandfather, and anybody doing crime against them or your cousins Harry and Ironwood would probably be explaining to Jesus in person about how dumb they are.”
“There's levels to this,” George said. “But the thing about Cousin Ironwood is that he is safety first, so he's not going to take you out if he doesn't have to. He may have you wishing he had gone on and killed you because of the why your life is about to be messed up, but that way, you get time to get it together before you meet Jesus. Cousin Ironwood really is a Christian like that.”
“So is my dad,” Milton said, “although I'm sure that if you really, really need to go on, he will get you there.”
“Yep,” George said, “and I wouldn't touch his car without written permission either.”
“Oh, yeah – ask Melvin about that,” Milton said. “That ain't what you want, because yes, crime is dumb, and my dad loves to teach how dumb. There's levels to this, for sure!”