Hi, you, I say with confidence because I know you're not someone else. We've probably met if that's what this is. I bet if I remembered all the stuff I told you, I'd go daaayyum, I told you that?! if we met in real life and you'd be all "you're so tall! And even more handsome in person!!" Then I'd go.
You sound like my dentist.
Not really. That would be weird like people who stare at their feet when they walk.
I only recently got comfortable undressing at the dentist. I always stick to the chair. You know those vinyl chairs dentists use like barber shop chairs that lean back and lay down flat. Peeling yourself free from one of those like an individually packaged slice of cheese can be traumatic in front of an audience when you can't feel your face but for the rest of you.
I'm @DanDays - The Luckiest Guy I Know
5n1/2 years, this / that, still the only social media type platform I've been to. Nowhere else can I be found. But if I had one wish I'd be in two places at the same time.
Clever, funny, questionable, toxic; I try to introduce all four in the first couple sentences. Usually, and I use that term loosely like Treaty, somewhere between the second and very last paragraph, we have a better idea what the hell I'm saying.
All of the images I use are my own unless stated otherwise. Won't find those anywhere else but I've said that before, now I'm just dawdling. Doot d-do d-dewww.
Keep it exciting, that's for sure. Just because a sentence ends in exclamation doesn't mean everyone's awake! Can't expect to capture consumer attention in a world where the only thing that matters is instant gratification if each paragraph isn't better than the last. I want what I said last time to be better than this time said no one ever.
A lot of fluff, really. Two images and what you've read until now and all I've done is beat around the bush.
Time—single most important ingredient in all things.
Provocative or striking like I've never been so racist in my life and then go off about old white dudes is totally acceptable; opening sentence, title, put it wherever you want. You'll attract attention with that one and, if you're not doing it for attention, get out. The.
Whereas Ladies, stop showing your pussy to the internet works better around here somewhere to avoid lengthy explanations how you're totally not serious, 'ha-ha, LoL' and all that because everyone knows ladies don't do that.
Attention whores do.
I know!! Doesn't make sense like calling AI art, art. It's ok to say fuck and pussy but whore is *taboo*.
Hi, you, I say with confidence again. I started putting this one together the other night when Pura told me about some attention you know whats she works with -- at a public place -- in a shared break room.
Two colleagues of hers, college girls, both under 20 are sharing their OnlyFans page with each other and another woman she works with, three total, the whole break room's tuned in. The other woman's 50 something years old, I can't make this stuff up. She's engaged in the conversation because she's sharing her OnlyFans page, too, and she has a 26 year old daughter they all work with. Mhmm.
That would suck. No one goes to the Ferrari dealer for a gas pedal.
What do you mean?
Treasure the whole experience. Everything from the showroom to the curves, the paint, feel how solid the doors open and close, the contour of the driver seat. Get a sense for the controls, the steering wheel, smell the leather, listen to 12 cylinder harmonics. The gas pedal's the very last thing.
She said I should write that.
Everyone knows what a P-word looks like—tulips the color of her hand, et cetera. I can see a thousand of them right now at the speed of internet.
But, if you cover it up and, it doesn't take much to cover it, you might be surprised with the uptick in likes. And if you want to get super duper original like really, really do something no one else is doing, put your belly button on the internet.
MmmmmmHm.
