I remember it like it was yesterday. Myself, the one who’s content you’re now consuming, and the stunning 
We’d just left Italy, that boot-shaped country in Southern Europe occupied by absolutely and undoubtedly the most unwelcoming, inconsiderate settlement of specie ever to gather in one location at the same time. And I’m from Los Angeles!!
My buddy in France, 
Dear Italy: How quickly you’ve forgotten had it not been for the continued allied support of the United States of America and the 7,858 (seven thousand, eight hundred and fifty eight) American Military servicemen and servicewomen who selflessly sacrificed their lives for your nation, in your own back yard, at Anzio Beach in July, 1943, you’d be speaking German right now. Love always, 
Pura was in dire need of medical attention anyhow. Something you’re not awarded (free medicine) in America simply by being born. That humane commodity only seems to apply everywhere else in the world. We got her all fixed up by the way, your concerns have been heartfelt. “Thank You!” <- bigger than that. ’Sincerely, D and A’. She’s running up and down recovery road again these days—celiac. So the two of us packed our bags, flew (count’em!) not one but:
as high as we possibly could to that despicable ass boot-shaped country and arrived in England the second week of January.
Don’t hate... ...(the messenger)
“Since I Left Ain’t Too Much Changed”
Well except for maybe this platform and, what I mean by that is, the name of this platform. Last time I blabbed blabbed blabbed bla blabbed blabbed bla blabbed bla blabbed blabbed blabbed bla blabbed blabbed bla these thumbs to you guys and (finest creatures to ever grace this planet) ‘ladies,’ I clicked the post button over at Stink. Split, Spineless, whatever it’s called. The whole thing’s a foreign language to me now. The one where Justin Sunofa cheated and lied and manipulated and stuff.
”Since I Left Ain’t Too Much Changed”
Well except for the number of followers I have, that only took seven months. How dare I temporarily take a back seat from our blogging community while locked down in the UK for (count’em!) five six Seven months in a two bedroom apartment with no car, no yard or anything and the same four walls to stare at day in/day out. That and the clock on the church tower we had the pleasure of viewing from our lockdown facility previously dubbed ’living room space’. The same clock they never adjusted for daylight savings so the thing was an hour behind the whole time.
PS—‘daylight’ anything in Todmorden, England is a facade. Seven months in that confignment and the sun ’might’ve’ shown itself a total of 20 times. I managed to capture one of them:
”17:41”
When they say locked down in England, they mean Locked The Fuck Down in England! It didn’t mean locked down but Target’s still open or locked down but Wal-Mart and 7-11 remain open during normal business hours—nope! It meant the only set of electronic doors still in operation for all of (count’em!) five months were the three markets in town and Morrison’s sucks so really only two. Even Halifax Bank on the corner of Water Road in Todmorden boarded up their windows and yanked the ATM out the wall. Ooh! That reminds me. This time around I won’t be censoring my curse words.
I’ve always appreciated them (curse words). I consistently rely on an arsenal of them (curse words). I think they (curse words) simplify emotion which brings me back to that part about the followers I lost. All of you who shit-canned me because I’ve been doing everything I possibly can to maintain my sanity this year, 2020, the year of clarity mass Covidiot programming, are a buncha impatient mufukers.
”Since I Left Ain’t Too Much Changed”
Well except for how to properly enter/exit public establishments. Everything’s directional now, one way in-one way out, like they did in Germany back in the 40’s.
We’ve been in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida a little over a week now quarantrantula, quackentining, whatever the most up-to-date overnight sensation word is. The first Uber car we got in insisted we do not wear face masks but the second one was adamant about covering our faces—his mistake. My wife’s a 10 (knock-out), hands down the baddest chick Henry’s ever had in his car and all he had the pleasure of viewing from his rear view mirror were a pair of make-shift surgeons. With the amount of credible news sources available at our fingertips today, it shouldn’t be difficult to convince some influencers I’m a neurologist.
It’s about 50/50 out there. Half the Uber drivers got their cruise control set directly toward the ’epicenter’ of this bullshit and the other half are Mornal. <- That isn’t normal.
Here in Ft. Lauderdale and South Beach, everything’s wide open as far as gyms, tattoo joints, salons, restaurants, etc. However, in order to properly enter said establishments (that’s establishmentS with a big’ol HUGE ‘S’), one must cover their face prior to crossing the threshold and, immediately upon confirming the entrance door has indeed shut behind them, masks are not required and everyone inside the joint is enjoying themselves minus the discomfort of a germ-saturated, skin irritating, snot rag of a fashion understatement.
Clearwater, Florida, on the other hand (other side of the state to be more specific), masks are worn at your own discretion but employees are required to protect themselves from themselves at all times. We stopped once at the half way point for fuel and entered the station wearing fashionable bank robber disguises only to be confronted immediately by the store clerk: “Hey! What’s with the mask?! Unless there’s something going on outside we’re unaware of, you have to remove that thing immediately!” No plexiglass, no self-policing Covidiots or anything like that—business as usual.
”Since I Left Ain’t Too Much Changed”
Well except now we’re back stateside and can add living 30 days or more in 10 countries to our once in a lifetime road trip. iheart road trips—“guilty.” Woulda shoulda coulda been 16 countries but hey, there’s deadly mosquitos out there right now called Cosquito-9mean and they have razor sharp teeth with matching claw-like wings raining havoc on humanity. That and we were able to tour a total of 13 countries since leaving Los Angeles back in 2017.
”Since I Left Ain’t Too Much Changed”
Well except for my signature, the one I attach to the bottom of these articles. It used to be white on black with a custom gif designed by the multi-talented and well traveled 
rooster cock-suckin cops who repeatedly and heinously continue murdering innocent people. They’re just two colors...
Auburn/Magenta
...achievable by mixing three primary colors together that we, as a society (that’s Society with a big’ol HUGE ‘S’), were systematically indoctrinated to comprehend as none other than a:
”Since I Left Ain’t Too Much Changed”