I lost focus in the end of 2023 and early 2024. I ran myself into the ground, physically and emotionally. Among the myriad of lessons learned during that time and the recovery, there was also one factor that I didn’t really think would affect me so much, and negatively – I had reached quite a few of my goals.
Mainly, the financial goal of being able to survive on passive income. Long term deposits in banks, an investment in a friend’s construction firm, stocks, the hypothetical worth of the bakery as soon as I sold it – which was the plan. Surviving means paying everything for Lily, and having basic needs covered. Beer is not included.
That’s what I was working for, very hard, too hard. And when I realized that I had reached it, I was very psyched at first. But then came the emptiness. The inevitable question – and now? What’s next? Financial freedom was always one of my most important goals, as my mom was quite focused on that and passed it on to us. To a fault, but I managed to work around that quite early and define my own goals moderately.
On top, I reached personal goals. Lily was going to move to and live with me, going to school here. We were able to visit Germany, for the first time together, and she was able to meet my grandmother, which was extremely moving for me. It seemed like my grandma had waited just for that, she passed away 2 months after I took pictures of Lily and her together, and with my mom and me. Though she was somewhat in a fog already, I think she did realize who Lily and I were, though I hadn’t seen her in a long time and she only knew Lily from seldom video calls. “How beautiful that you finally made it.” That’s what she said.
I had to set more goals. Harder-to-reach goals. And one of them is more a dream than a goal, but if things keep going like they are, I might actually be able to pull it off.
I want to buy a piece of land, plant a ton of native trees, and rescue an animal here and there to have live there, unbothered (at least my humans). Some cows, pigs, chicken, whatever. Cats and dogs, too. Maybe build a house, or have it built, nothing fancy, something for me and Ellie to sit on the porch and drink beer or gin-tonics at 11am on a Sunday morning in the sunshine, just chilling.
Yes, staying together with Ellie is a goal, too. Not at any price, but for the moment, it’s looking good. First time that I can imagine growing old with someone. Related to her is another goal, how I want to die – having a fatal heart attack while in the middle of a fantastic orgasm. That would be great. But not a real goal, as that is not easy to fabricate, nothing I can influence much. Staying together with her, that I can influence a lot.
I don’t really have goals about Lily. She’s her own person, I don’t feel like I can have goals for her. For myself in connection with her, yes. Keep giving my best as a father, keep learning, keep teaching, keep being there, always. Do my very best so she can be happy in her life, no matter the circumstances, and thrive as a good human being. Having enough money saved when she finishes school so she can study if she decides to.
That’s about it for now. There are more goals, of course, but nothing as long term. What about you? Any goals you’ve reached, any you’re close, any that seem more a dream than a possibility?
Post created for the #weekend-engagement challenge by GalenKP. Check that and other great content out in the Weekend Experiences - Community!
