“Grief is simply love with no place to go.” I think this might be one of the most beautiful and painful ways to describe grief, when you really think about it, grief isn't just about missing someone. It's about having all this love, all these memories, all these things you still want to say and do, and suddenly having nowhere to send them. I doing this write up because i've really lost some very close family members this year and grief has never hit me so deep. It hurt alot!
Sometimes you still see something that reminds you of them and instinctively want to tell them about it. You hear a song and remember them or a memory that just randomly pops up in your head about them for a second u think about all the life these people had to live, they had so much life in them, Then reality comes back, the reality that they're not there anymore.
I think that's why grief can be so strange. Its almost inexplicable, its something you cannot describe, a hurt so deep that you wish for physical pain instead of the emotional one. You can be completely fine one minute and then something incredibly small can bring everything back. It doesn't necessarily mean you're going backwards. Sometimes it simply means you loved someone deeply enough that their absence still has weight and I don't think we talk enough about the fact that grief is also about losing the future you imagined. Maybe you had plans with that person, you probably imagined birthdays, weddings, holidays, conversations, family gatherings or simply growing old enough to look back at everything you had experienced together. When someone leaves this world you can also lose all the moments you thought you would have.
That's a difficult thing to accept, but do we have a choice? No, people sometimes say, “Time heals everything,” but I'm not sure I completely believe that. Time doesn't necessarily erase the pain, more often than not it just teaches you how to carry it differently. You learn to live around the empty space. When people say time heals all, its not necessarily all true because it depends on the pain, for some its about finding somewhere else for that love to go. You keep their memory alive and if you can you take care of the people they loved and keep their memories alive and bearing that in mind we should all strive to be remembered in a positive light in this world, keep good legacies, so that when we part from this world we are spoken of in a good light and remembered as good people.
For me grief isn't necessarily the opposite of love it is what love looks like when the person you love is no longer here to receive it and if that's true, then perhaps we shouldn't be ashamed of grieving.
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