How long are you going to wait, before you demand the best of yourself?
This quotation is stuck in my mind. My mind keeps asking this question from my heart and my heart counter-questions back. I don't know who is it. An external force or internal thing. Whatever it is had made me feel like a maniac in less than 2 months.
Sometimes, life feels like I have done something so horrible to it. It makes me wanna destroy everything I own and everything that owns me. All of it had made me feel so crippled that I no longer feel myself. I feel like I'm left alone and behind in my life in comparison with my fellows. Is it fear of missing out?
I, sometimes, wanna give up on life because I am so tired of everything. I stay inside my room and it makes me feel better. But then I get anxious and worry more about not doing enough. Is there anything like relief of missing out?
Life, people, love, hate, truth, false, happiness and sadness. All of it, makes my mind go crazy. What belongs to whom and who is doing more is the merit. Do I postpone myself?
If I do, then why? Why do I postpone myself? It is beyond the level of procrastination. It is postponing my very own reality. But energy doesn't allow me to go further. It makes me stuck there.
I see people crying and in pain and I feel their pain. But why do I forget my own? Why do I not do anything? Why do I not respect myself enough to do anything and get out of all of it. Why? Why everything doesn't feel like reality? Why is it like that my dreams are more real than the reality?
I would say now, that nothing is real. Nothing is reality. Everything is a hollow dream and we are living in it. I have figured it out that there was a time when I wasn't even existing. And there will be a time when I will not exist. It is nothing.
In the past, I didn't exist. Today, I am, but that also feels like a dream. In the future, I won't exist.
The quote that made me feel myself and actually do something is:
This made me think that:
[Original and AI free]
Image(s) in this post are my own
See you next time .🌸🌼.