Dear minions, Good idea? Bad idea? You decide!! Let's explore an alternate Splinterlands Universe... What if... In Wild, energy does NOT replenish. Modern stays the same. Only Wild changes. Each season

Dear minions, Who the hell is Gwen? Gwen has become one of Splinterlands most successful entrepreneurs overnight. She's got a real great glint shop. I used to scavenge dead rotting monster corpses on the

Dear minions, Have you ever tried to squeeze an egg out of a flame imp? I've been trying for the last week, but all I've done is stretch them out and make them angry... Here's the thing. I promised the

Dear minions, Tired of your animated corpses eating brains and staining the couch? Do you hate stepping over bodies in the kitchen after vampire dinner? What about feral spirits leaving mouse heads under

Dear minions, Alligators have a bad reputation because sometimes they eat people. And you know who suffers in the end?? All of us, because there are no good alligator movies! Sometimes I'm just in the

Dear minions, Living inside volcano isn't as cool as it sounds. If you're thinking about investing in real estate, think twice before buying a volcano. First of all, think about the giant staircase you'll

Dear minions, Look, when you decided to follow the world's most up-and-coming supervillain you knew this was bound to happen at some point... Now, I realize this is a sort of virtual made up hostage situation

Dear minions, Have you ever wondered if bagels are evil? They are. Bagels are basically a sandwich with a hole in it. Normally you'd get a discount for buying something defective, but not with bagels.

Dear minions, You should follow me on Steemit because sometimes I post pictures of sloths and sloths are great. If you want to conquer the world, it helps to have lots of sloth pictures... Whenever you

Dear minions, Sometimes I wonder why my lawyers are so fussy to know about all my business ventures before I launch some new scheme for world domination. ... Then I attach laser beams to some frickin shark

Dear minions, I know I talk a lot about alligators, but sharks with frickin laser beams attached to their frickin heads are even better. Most of us don't wake up in the morning and think, "Hey it

Dear minions, I've never been eaten by an alligator. I bet you've never been eaten by an alligator. Not a whole lot of people get eaten by alligators when you think about it... So why do alligators have

Dear minions, If racoons keep eating your soul, you need more trash. Trash is great. It's full of interesting stuff and can save your life from evil racoons. What the hell am I talking about, I recycle.

Dear minions, You need to build a giant stratosphere laser mounted on a hot air balloon. I know, I know, it sounds way cooler to have a giant space laser circling the planet from a satellite or to have

Dear minions, Ventilation ducts need to be too small to crawl through... Haven't you watched enough movies to know those wretched superheroes always sneak in or escape using the vents? Just make the vents

Dear minions, Sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their frickin' heads don't come cheap. Sure I could settle for some ill tempered bass... Really you can attach laser beams to just about anything

Dear minions, Always wear helmets with clear plexiglass visors, not face-concealing ones. You want to protect your face, not walk into walls. Face concealing masks look stupid and don't intimidate anyone.

YOU GET SMACKED IN THE HEAD WITH THE PAN, THAT’S WHAT. I don’t know what sort of idiots I have working in my kitchen, but this is not the place for conducting toxic science experiments when I asked for

Dear minions, Listen, alligators don't want to eat you on purpose. They're just hungry and you look delicious. It sort of happens by accident... Imagine if you saw a hamburger walking down the sidewalk...