For those who were there and tried from the start Keeping me guided through times in the dark You still hold me up but my heart it weighs more Than things first began and the pain you endured I try to

"Let your growth be a gift to them. Let them see it, let them feel it." The last year of addiction is certainly a blur when looked back upon. Often it is filled with a number of failures, some

My mind is numb I feel no pain, I feel no joy Oblige me now please, real mccoy One last try I swear, I don’t lie Please hold me over, til’ I’m ready to die In time I’ll be better, I promise you’ll see

There are three elements to addiction; the life you lead, the pain it causes, and the drug to hold you up. In the early stages of addiction you are neither aware of the pain, nor the lifestyle that’s causing

It’s unreal to think back on just how many trips I made to buy drugs, and even more so how few close calls there were. Think about the situation you are openly putting yourself in. Going into unsafe

So you’ve decided to stop, and are putting your best foot forward. You put in the effort, and formulate a game plan for success. The timeline is set, schedule organized, exercise and diet plan ready,

I see the light and am the dark from which it escapes Exposed patterns of limitation Break way to lines of creation I see as I am, for I am not what I see What I see is within, the choice to see me I hear

"There is no greater, there is no lesser. Only balance." Robert A. Monroe ~ I swear, this is the last time… I swear, THIS is the last time. I swear, this IS the last time. I swear, this is

First Time The first try might be one of the sweetest, most love-filled blanketing moments you can experience. At the time nothing comes close to it, nothing ever will. Like one of your first happy moments

"I'm holding on, to what I haven't got" ~Chester Bennington Finding a balance, a balance between what you have and don’t have - it’s critical in the survival and turning point to your recovery.

Wake up, contemplate how much I used the night before. Fuck, another blow to my bank account. How am I gonna make up for this one? That's it, today's the day I'm stopping, so go damn fed up. Contemplate

I've always been curious whether or not our addictive tendencies existed before addiction. If yes, then to what extent, and were they as strong as they are now? I believe they've always been there, maybe

With each relapse, the harder the fall, the steeper the climb…back to a world of uncertainty, and vulnerable to the feelings we've grown so distant from familiar. Over time, life gives back to us as reward

It's critical that we're brought up to view challenges as opportunities for growth, rather than obstacles that we must drag ourselves through to completion. Often our natural tendency is to worry more

What if I never went down this path? What if I didn’t spend all that money? What if I damaged my health permanently? What if this will never end? What if I’m fucked for life? You can speculate all you

What a challenge it is to find support from within yourself. It’s natural and easy to picture support as this external force. We often think of it as something to “prop” us up until we grow strong enough

A common question I get from time to time, is whether or not I've begun to master my addiction. The truth of it is, no, I will absolutely never be the master of anything and even more so my addictive

Pain, it's just something no one ever wants to go through. I can't specifically remember a time during childhood where I felt any overwhelming sense of it, but there was always plenty of anxiety, at which

Into the deep, I go again because I can, because I can… Shallow the depths, I dive at first.. No fear, no doubt, no thought of the worst. A curious need, some form of relief.. Nothing there, still, something

VALUES The desire for more, what makes us all tick, what keeps us going. What would life be to know that what you have now is all you’ll ever have? That no matter how hard you work, this will never change.