"I'm holding on, to what I haven't got"
~Chester Bennington
Finding a balance, a balance between what you have and don’t have - it’s critical in the survival and turning point to your recovery. Whatever you have that’s expendable, you’re addiction’s going to chew through it like the remaining fat left on a bone. There are many types of addicts out there from all walks of life, both rich or poor, and the truth is we all place a different value on life. To a degree, I don’t think any addicts truly value their lives, or even more so the opportunities and blessings offered each day. We’re all aware of the term “rock bottom” used religiously in the stories of addiction, but there’s something beyond that first layer that tells more of a story.
Leading up to our addiction, or at least the hardest parts, we’re all accustomed to a certain level of living. Certain moments remind us of who we are, or who we once were. Over time though, without us even being aware, this previous image or status of “self” dissipates. Diminished so far beyond recognition, that the only way to realize this is by losing more than we ever thought we could.
So the question then is how soon each of us wants to begin this process, because honestly it’s only a matter of time before we begin to lose what we are destined to lose. There is only one way in and out of this mess, should you choose to exit. As an example, the beginning of this change for me was moving to a new location. One that financially required my time and hard-earned dollars. This new form of living doesn’t just take from you though, it gives back in many other ways. For everything I put in, for every ounce of effort I give, I get back. This is part of the simple fact of life that what you put in, you will get out. No matter the circumstances, no matter the cost. It’s the laws of the universe we all are privileged to operate within.
