There's a common habit of every human being they don’t always ask who you are because they will decide it on their own. It began with a message from group chat to inbox.
“Hey, you're Zoe, right? Let's meet up before coaching tomorrow?”
I couldn’t believe it because the text was from someone I barely know. Her name is Mehrun, we were studying in the same coaching center and for me she was just a stranger. We never spoke to each other in the class. Though I didn’t think much of it. That day I was busy, had plans with my family so I told her that it was not possible tomorrow.
Three days passed, got another message from her.
“Hey, are you coming earlier today?”
I was not doing it intentionally but I couldn’t go on time to the class as well. I had few things to do, and this felt off as questions arose in my mind "why she's still looking for me?" Even though we are not friends. Like we barely exchanged any words even in the class.
A week passed but she didn’t stop.
Every other day I would receive messages from her.
“Are you free now? Let's meet”
“When will you come?”
To be honest I didnt get annoyed at all but persistent enough to make me curious.
I thought maybe she just wants to be friends, maybe none in the class looked friendly to her except me and I thought of every positive thing about this situation.
So one day, I made time for her. I woke up earlier, took a shower and got ready to meet her before the classes.
I reached earlier and saw her near the coaching center gate, she was waving at me and smiling.
“Zoeeeee!" * Hugs * "You finally came!” she said.
“Well, how could I not? When you kept asking,” I laughed and replied.
She held my hand and said “Let’s go somewhere where we can chill together quietly.”
Without any doubts I followed her.
We walked for a while far from the coaching center, we reached to a place where I have never been to.
Then suddenly I could smell something familiar and I began to cough.
I realized in a while it's the smell of cigarettes.
It was the smoking zone.
Mehrun stopped and turned to me.
Before I could speak, she pulled out the packet of cigarettes.
“I didn’t like to smoke alone” she said.
Then I realized, all those messages and the efforts she made was not really about friendship.
“Here take one you will feel relaxed” she said.
“Wait! wait! I have never smoked.”
She paused. “What?” She stared at me being surprised. “You're joking right? You look like you smoke, I can't be wrong."
I laughed at her stupidity and I asked "Is it because of my clothes?”
She replied confidently “Yeah that's obvious. Your hair is always messy, you wear Baggy jeans, lose tops, brown lipstick all of these made you look like a baddie. Apparently, that was enough."
Then she lit her cigarette even though she noticed I'm coughing, she took out another cigarette and approached me.
“Here take one, try it once,” she said. “It’s not a big deal, you will thank me forever”
I stepped back from her making a clear distance “No.”
“Why not?” she insisted. “You know everyone should experience everything at least once in a lifetime.”
“I don’t want to.” I replied
“Come on! just one puff,” she pushed again. “You’ll definitely enioy it.”
I shook my head. “I said no.”
She clearly looked annoyed now. Then, in a while she said, “Listen, I don’t even smoke. This is my first time and I just had a breakup. So, I'm trying to relax my brain that's all.”
I looked at her.
She took each puffs with smoothness and without any efforts, she didn't hesitate, no coughing nothing at all. She smoked like someone who has done it so many times, just like a regular smoker. My father is a chain smoker so I know these things very well.
She was completely lying but I didn’t say anything. She kept forcing me so this time, I had to harden my soft tone. I could see changes in her expression as she was disinterested.
“Oh,” she said.
And just like that she stopped pushing me to smoke with her. She turned slightly away and continued smoking as if I was not there, she was busy texting someone on her phone.
“Alright Zoe, you can leave now if you want,” she said casually.
And that was it.
I thought she would try to apologise at least. What I found unexpected was that she didnt even bother to know me or talk it out.
“Okay, I will take my leave,” I replied to her.
When I was walking away, I was still coughing because of the smell and as far as I went the smell slowly faded.
Mehrun never texted me like she used to constantly for a meet up. To be honest, I was feeling really sad because I already thought of us becoming good friends.
Alas! That was stupid of me thinking like that. The fact is that she never had the intentions to know me or become my friend. She just wanted someone who would fit the version of me she had already created. Someone who would smoke with her and match the “vibe” she saw.
The moment she realized I'm not the girl who she thought I was because of my clothes then she lost her interest.
Just like that.
Later that day, I again found myself wearing oversized clothes. The same vibe of being quiet nature. After that day nothing had changed. Because it was not the first time I got judged because of my clothes. The only thing changed is my understanding of people.
That day it made me realize I could be misunderstood easily like without anyone even trying to know me or try to ask me a single question.
Most of the assumptions about me are tottaly wrong, some had already decided the reason of me not smoking like as if I'm restricted or it's a religious thing but none bothered to know the real reason.
The truth is I don't smoke not because I can’t, because it's my personal choice and I don’t want to. Also, I believe others judgement will never change me.
My dad always says it's just a view not the truth, so I always keep it in my mind.
The images are created with Gemini and edited with Canva