Double sigh. _04 is going onto thousands of CDs even as we speak, so to speak. -- Larry Wall in [email protected] NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION! squatcho, n.: The button at the top

Use the Force, Luke. The words fly away, the writings remain. Q: What do you say to a New Yorker with a job? A: Big Mac, fries and a Coke, please!

Besides, REAL computers have a rename() system call. :-) -- Larry Wall in [email protected] Will this never-ending series of PLEASURABLE EVENTS never cease? You will have a long and unpleasant

All I've got left on the list of desirable vocations is heiress to the throne of any country in Western Europe and Laurie Anderson. "Be practical", was the choral reply from the dinner table.

Very few people do anything creative after the age of thirty-five. The reason is that very few people do anything creative before the age of thirty-five. -- Joel Hildebrand Fortune: You will be attacked

Wombat's Laws of Computer Selection: (1) If it doesn't run Unix, forget it. (2) Any computer design over 10 years old is obsolete. (3) Anything made by IBM is junk. (See number 2) (4) The minimum acceptable

Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boats. -- Woody Allen "I've seen the forgeries I've sent out." -- John F. Haugh II ([email protected]),

Fortune's Real-Life Courtroom Quote #18: Q: Are you married? A: No, I'm divorced. Q: And what did your husband do before you divorced him? A: A lot of things I didn't know about. QOTD: "You want me

A fool and his honey are soon parted. Practical people would be more practical if they would take a little more time for dreaming. -- J. P. McEvoy Feel free to contact me (flames about my english and the

Operating-system software is the program that orchestrates all the basic functions of a computer. -- The Wall Street Journal, Tuesday, September 15, 1987, page 40 Whatever doesn't succeed in two months

(1) Office employees will daily sweep the floors, dust the furniture, shelves, and showcases. (2) Each day fill lamps, clean chimneys, and trim wicks. Wash the windows once a week. (3) Each clerk will

Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them. -- Bill Vaughn The primary cause of failure in electrical appliances is an expired warranty. Often, you can get

Money is the root of all wealth. Let us go, through certain half-deserted streets, The muttering retreats Of restless nights in one-night cheap hotels And sawdust restaurants with oyster-shells: Streets

A feature is nothing more than a bug with seniority. -- Unknown source To every Ph.D. there is an equal and opposite Ph.D. -- B. Duggan Alas, how love can trifle with itself! -- William Shakespeare, "The

Please go away. Our way is peace. -- Septimus, the Son Worshiper, "Bread and Circuses", stardate 4040.7. Bipolar, adj.: Refers to someone who has homes in Nome, Alaska, and Buffalo, New York.

Never put off till tomorrow what you can avoid all together. Store in a cool place. Some men feel that the only thing they owe the woman who marries them is a grudge. -- Helen Rowland

At the end of your life there'll be a good rest, and no further activities are scheduled. Her locks an ancient lady gave Her loving husband's life to save; And men -- they honored so the dame -- Upon some

The General disliked trying to explain the highly technical inner workings of the U.S. Air Force. "$7,662 for a ten cup coffee maker, General?" the Senator asked. In his head he ran through his

Sanity and insanity overlap a fine grey line. Part of language design is purturbing the proposed feature in various directions to see how it might generalize in the future. -- Larry Wall in

Detroit is Cleveland without the glitter. Speak roughly to your little VAX, And boot it when it crashes; It knows that one cannot relax Because the paging thrashes! Wow! Wow! Wow! I speak severely to my