Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names
the streets after them.
-- Bill Vaughn
The primary cause of failure in electrical appliances is an expired
warranty. Often, you can get an appliance running again simply by changing
the warranty expiration date with a 15/64-inch felt-tipped marker.
-- Dave Barry, "The Taming of the Screw"
I exist, therefore I am paid.