Have you ever been judged by people's assumptions? Simply Because you're expected to express how much you care from their perspective.
Well I have.
And sincerely it made me realise there are different ways people express their feelings.
The most difficult task is studying a person. Because human nature is wide and judging a person basically by their actions, or by the expression on their face, is not enough to predict a person's character.
I experienced it first hand and it was chaotic.
A friend of mine was having a difficult time and she expected me to be by her side, and show her that I care.
I thought I was doing that but it wasn't enough for her because according to her I wasn't expressing the way she wanted.
She wanted frequent calls, check up on her often and I should always know when something is wrong.
Honestly I never knew I was doing something wrong.
But unfortunately I'm someone who does not always express my feelings.
Sometimes I just listen, sometimes I assist quietly without being loud. But she interpreted it differently.
And the situation made me realize that people can care for you in their own way.
Some people might give you space but still care, that's their nature.
I do say this a lot, “ when you expect so much from people, you're prompt to always get disappointed.”
Because not everyone believes in communicating their feelings especially if you don't ask.
In my situation I expected my friend to confront me about why I behave that way but she jumped into conclusion. She concluded my actions meant indifference.
If I replied late, didn't call, or I didn't ask the questions she expected, it simply means I don't care.
And it hurts because only I know my heart.
She changed towards me and I confronted her, she explained everything to me which made my heart lighter and I understood my intentions weren't enough. She needed action.
I wasn't angry, I also explained my own perspective.
And during the conversation we both realised that we've been looking at the whole problem from different perspectives.
I also learnt that, when someone approaches you to express how they feel, you don't tell them,
“but I cared, or at least I showed up.”
Instead ask questions and listen to them.
Ask how you can change the misunderstanding.
Because our intentions are not always enough. Good communication will help the situation better.
My mum and I often had issues but because we sat down and put our differences aside and talked it out. We ended up understanding each other and became good buddies so yeah! Communication is very important.
If someone is very important to you, express your feelings when you feel wronged or not cared for not expecting them to read your mind.
Looking back, the experience taught me Communication clears the air and prevents misunderstanding. Though she didn't see the things I had done, the conversation helped.
Do not assume people are expected to care for you the way you want. If you feel what someone else is giving to you is not enough, don't judge the person or jump into conclusions.
Giving the other person an opportunity to explain themselves is the best way to handle the situation.
Thank you for stopping by.
Bye for now.