The beginning of dawn
Mountain of emotions... That's what duels are like.
It's a back and forth. You cry, you laugh, you move on, you think you've won and then you come back.
It hurts when for some reason you think of calling him to tell him something and at the same time remember that he is not there. Energy is not lost, it is transformed, but it is a process to transform it. It is a path full of evolution.
There are many options to live it and integrate it, because it is not something that you face because it is not a fight.
I tried to forget and fill myself with activities, vices, rationalize what I was feeling and I spent some years like that, it worked for me.
But from one moment to the next I started to cry senselessly. Crying while eating a pizza in a bakery, crying because the sky is blue and crying because you are gone. I started to thaw.
Going to a psychologist, it helps. Exercising, too. Consciously opening up to feeling works. There are a thousand paths and each one is different.
I think there is no recipe and there is no right or wrong way to live it, what I do know is that you have to live it and integrate it. Learn to live with that emotion that I don't know how to name it (yet). Sometimes a loss is the door to live feelings that we had stagnant and we cry retroactively....
Cry if it makes you feel good, look at the pictures, read the letters, talk about the experiences you had with that person and honor their life by living. And I know it's ironic to name life so much while writing about death, but life and death go hand in hand, one doesn't exist without the other.
I am grateful for our meeting and for having chosen us as brothers. You are present in me and in every dawn 馃寘 I love you bro, happy evolution 馃挒馃寛馃挅馃尰馃彽锔忦煉湪
Thank you for reading
