Watching a deeply disturbing docu-series, Conversations with a Killer: The Ted Bundy Tapes
I was rattled by this intimate look into the mind of serial killer, which left me reflecting on our increasingly violent culture and the banality of evil.
I admit, I used to be more fascinated by such darkness, as a younger man. Mercifully, less so, now. Lately, I try not to furnish my mind with such horrors, but I succumbed, despite Netflix's provocative warning do not watch it alone...
I think the troubling case of serial killers, however, is somewhat more complicated than animals who kill to stay alive, or a philosophical mocking of life...
I suspect it's an unholy mix and f mental illness, addiction/compulsion as well as possession by Evil — a destructive spirit that seeks to defile all that is good in life.
Not to encourage anyone, but if this subject of why some commit this ultimate transgression interests you, this book sheds some light by a woman who dated Bundy for 6 years
Here, for example, is the veiled confession of Ted Bundy, to his girlfriend of six years, about what drove him to kill (possibly, a 100 women).
I wish we could sit down .. alone ... and talk about things
... with nobody listening ... about why I am the way I am.
"I was afraid you would have nothing to do with me if I told you." His voice was so weary that I started to cry. "Didn't you ... always think it was possible?"
I don't have a split personality. I don't have blackouts. I remember everything I've done... It wasn't like I had forgotten or couldn't remember, but it was just over ... gone ... the force wasn't pushing me any more. I don't understand it. The force would just consume me. Like one night, I was walking by the campus and I followed this sorority girl. I didn't want to follow her. I didn't do anything but follow her and that's how it was. I'd be out late at night and follow people like that. . .. I'd try not to, but I'd do it anyway."
He mumbled something that I couldn't understand and then said, "it's pretty scary, isn't it?"
I loved my freedom. But I have a sickness . .. a disease like your alcoholism ... you can't take another drink and with my ... sickness ... there is something ... that I just can't be around ... and I know it now."
Also, below is his last interview (right before being executed) where he spells out what he only hinted at, earlier:
The most common interest among serial killers is pornography
Heaven protect us from cynicism, or worse, and help us to keep our mind/hearts pure. I agree that it's depressing to dwell on such dark subjects, so far removed from the Light, and perhaps even best to pass these matter over in silence...
If evil is a partner to banality, then maybe good is a partner to creativity?