Whenever I think of my childhood and how I was raised by my parents, I think it's safe to say that I just might adapt the same method for when I do have kids but with a bit of difference here and there.
When it comes to the disciplinary side of things, my old man did a good job; as a matter of fact, there were days when I felt he did too good and went a bit far. And unfortunately, in as much as the man was good at instilling the fear of God in us with his creative punishments, he lacked in the department of making amends.
My dad has always been old school, the kind who believes that you will get over it eventually and come around, even if he had used a bit more force than he had initially planned on.
So if you were to ask me, I'd say the only problem he had was finding a way to balance between punishing a child and showing them love. We knew he loved us, but he rarely showed it. Probably because he felt like the captain of this ship and that in order for this ship not to sink, he had to be firm and show no weakness.
Although I would hardly classify love for your kids as weakness.
But don't get me wrong; there were days when he did things that made us (his kids) feel love; he just didn't do it as often as he punished us, hence the balance issue that I spoke about.
Personally, I feel a person can do both. You can be the guy with the iron rod to correct your kids and still be the man with the nice treats and gifts to make them feel loved when they do right. One doesn't have to be above the other, but if it must, then the love part should have some percentage above that of the punishment.
So when we talk about kids and we wonder what method we should use in training them properly, the punishment method or the other method where you reward them for doing good, I say we do both. When they're bad, they get punished, and when they're good, they get rewards.
These things shouldn't be too complicated.
