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In a conversation I had today, one of the people present shared a small detail. Something that wasn’t particularly significant on its own, but I knew exactly what she was talking about.
Those around us, although they were paying attention to the conversation, didn’t catch the reference and didn’t react at all to what had just been shared.
It’s interesting how a small idea, or a memory of something from a particular generation or region, can stir something so profound within us...
You’ve surely noticed that this phenomenon occurs, for example, when we’re far away from our homeland. And for some reason, we hear someone speaking our language, or someone who’s from our city, but whom we’ve never seen before in our lives. A bond forms almost instinctively, without any effort on our part.
In fact, this mechanism is one we have that aims to protect us.
When we’re far from home and meet someone from the same street, we try, in some way, to get closer to that person. Not because we think we’re in danger, or that we might need something from the other person. But simply based on the assumption and expectation that we must have something in common with them.
It’s funny that in my particular case, when I go to places I’ve been to before—especially in another country—I try to avoid making direct, immediate contact with people from my own country, or with those who shared the same flight with me and whom I later recognized among so many other strangers... But invariably, experience tells me that right from the start there’s something we have in common. Even if it’s just having experienced something as brief as a plane trip.
But what if we look at this mechanism and apply it to our society? This phenomenon also clearly explains the differences we perceive in others—and everything that comes with it, namely xenophobia, or even racism.
We know that racism has no intellectual basis, for it exists solely out of fear of a certain group of people who share a common experience or a common characteristic; and because we don’t know them—or because we think we know them—we generalize, lump them into an artificial group, and act on certain thoughts or even prejudices (as the word implies, something that exists before the concept itself… something that is not rational).
But then, what can be said about the positive aspects of this association we make?
The memories and the connection we feel with those around us make us feel a little more integrated. Just as I felt today when my friend mentioned a drink well known from our youth.
And what about you? Do you tend to strengthen your bonds with those you have more in common with, or do you seek out new people—who we may not know very well at first, but who turn out to be a great experience?
Image by Ratfink1973 from Pixabay
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