I had a lengthy conversation with someone yesterday and we came across negative influence and we debated on whether someone can actually outgrow being influenced negatively.
Can someone really outgrow the influence of the people and environment around them? Especially negative influence?
Because sometimes, we become so used to certain things that we don't even realize they're affecting us. The way we talk, the way we react when we're angry, the things we tolerate, even the way we see ourselves can be picked up from the people around us.
And then one day, something changes.
You start noticing that some things you used to do don't sit right with you anymore. You become uncomfortable with certain conversations. You stop finding some behaviors funny. You even begin to question friendships you once thought would last forever.
It can feel strange because these were once normal to you.
I think that's one of the hardest parts of growing, you start realizing that not everything you learned while growing up deserves to follow you into the person you're becoming.
But outgrowing a negative influence doesn't mean pretending it never happened. It doesn't mean blaming everyone around you either. Sometimes, it simply means taking responsibility for what you do with what you've been exposed to.
Maybe you learned anger from someone, but you can learn patience.
Maybe you grew up around negativity, but you can choose a different way of thinking.
Maybe people made you believe you weren't good enough, but you can slowly unlearn that voice.
It won't happen overnight. Some habits take time to unlearn, especially when they've been part of you for years.
But I believe people can outgrow what once influenced them.
At some point, you have to ask yourself: “Is this really who I am, or is this just something I learned from being around certain people?”
Sometimes, that question alone can be the beginning of change.
We may not get to choose every influence that shapes us, but we eventually get a say in what we carry forward.
Image is ai generated.
