They say, “show me your friend and I'll tell you who you are” but does this really apply in the actual sense?
I've had a few people confront me, asking why I hang out with or why I'm friends with certain type of people. First off, I see no reason why the people I chose to associate with are a problem to others. However, to the people I respect enough to give an answer, I usually say “get to know them before judging.”
I must have mentioned this a few times but I learnt really early to draw a very thick line between friends and acquaintances. As such, I'm very specific as to the people I let into my space not to talk of those who I actually tag as friends.
Quick question, “What does the word friend mean to you?”
For me, friendship goes way way beyond the looks and the attributes a person displays in public. If friends were made judging from how they seem or looked in public then I personally would have no friends courtesy of the unconscious but constant scowl on my face whenever I'm outside my comfort zone.
This is one reason why I believe in getting to know people. Automatically as humans, we tend to assume who a person is just from one glance. Paraventure we came in contact with the person on a day they were in one of their worst moods and then what? They are rude and ill-mannered people?
A good number of the people who I comfortably call friends today would be misjudged at first glance and I say this because I've gotten reviews from different people. I hear things like “that your friend doesn't talk much” Or “that your friend doesn't look like a decent person”.
Do not get me wrong because I am familiar with the fact that a person's physical appearance defines them to a degree but when it comes to humans, there is always more. At the end of the day, we interact and cohabit with people because of their attitude,sense of humour, empathy, perspectives and even shared goals or ideas and not because of the colour of their hair or how baggy their shorts look.
With physical appearance, the aim is usually to look and by extension feel more confident and comfortable and if baggy shorts or golden-coloured hairs do that for you then so be it.
What are your friends for?
Idle talking?
A friend is one who you can count on when need be. Someone who is genuinely happy for your little wins and vice versa. Someone who shares in your joy and celebrates your accomplishment, and you do the same for them. Someone who you can work together with to yield beautiful outcomes.
A simple way to ascertain if a person is indeed your friend is by answering the “can I be myself whenever I'm with this person?” and “would this person wholeheartedly defend and support me in one way or another when need be?” questions. If there is even a slight hint of doubt lurking in your mind when honestly attempting these questions then you should know your answer.
Friends can be a paradox. On one hand, they can bring immense joy, support and love into our lives. Good friends can encourage us to pursue our passion and be a shoulder to cry on in rough times. However, on the other hand, toxic friends can lead to so much stress, anxiety and even depression. It shouldn't come as a shocker that our best of friends could turn out to be our finest of enemies. With that, choose your friends wisely… or don't :)
Images are the author's
liebe🤍
