Any relationship that ends over a conversation over your feelings or values wasn't stable enough to begin with.
Entwinedlifestyle.com
Getting into a relationship is one of the hardest things for me. Ever since I got heartbroken some years ago just because I couldn't hang out much the way he wanted me to, also because I often brought up topics like reading books together, talking about our goals and other stuff that possibly should enhance our lives and give us a brighter future. He got fed up with my introverted lifestyle and he left. I woke up one beautiful morning to his breakup message. I was so young at the time and I think at that time I didn't know what I really wanted until I grew up and then the whole thing became clearer. He was more of the clingy type, always wanting to be outdoors, always trying to be intimate, wasting money and also time. I was heartbroken but I had to move on because I owe no one an apology for who I am.
We just weren't compatible in any way and ever since, I've been on my own, I've turned down date proposals because I don't want to hurt anyone nor do I want to be hurt. It seems people don't really fancy falling in love with introverts just because; we get tired of the outside world easily, we enjoy being indoors in socks all curled up under a thick blanket either reading, watching an anime or a movie that's rich in content rather than being on the streets dancing, drinking, smoking or having a one night stand etc.
Sometimes I contemplate within me if relationships are just all about fun, fun, fun and not educating one another or talking of important things. Don't get me wrong, I have my fun time and at this time, I can get all crazy but it won't be for long as I can't spend a whole 24hrs playing around.
I mostly prefer to read books right in front of my television or with my headphones on as I'm not much of an outdoor girl especially now that I'm single. My bed is the best companion and until I find a guy who'll love me for me that won't change.
Like I said earlier, I have turned down date proposals from many guys just because I don't want to get into something that won't last because the moment they figure I'm more interested in building a future they disappear. I want a life with someone that understands me, someone that knows my weakness, someone that'll know when to stop talking and just sit with me in silence while we communicate with our minds, someone who'll not only see relationship as a place of sex but as a place of sharing ideas.
I love it when valid ideas are shared amongst partners, I love it when I see couples hold hands and smile after seeing their long awaited dream come true. It's always beautiful but sometimes I think this only exists in movies. We can have fun but we have to know each other's limits not just comin into my life to sex and go without depositing anything that I can hold on to even after the person leaves.
When I talk about "future", I don't only mean marriage per say; I mean building something tangible that even though we don't end up together, there should be something that we could look back at and smile saying boldly "we worked on this together". It'll be an amazing thing to see an ex successful, living dreams and making money instead of fluttering around like a lost butterfly looking for where to perch without having anything to offer.
Relationships should be about building each other, it should be fun working together, it should be fun sharing ideas and seeing each other prosper. Wasting money every night and day eating out and dancing in the street is a waste of time to me. Going out once in a while makes the whole thing special and beautiful. It makes it worth it.
We actually don't have all the time in the world to just go out on dates, have sex, talk about random things and at the end of the day he cheats or she cheats and boom that's it! Nope, I'm not cut out for this kind of relationship and if this is what relationship is all about then no way I'd rather stay single but I know that it's not because there are lots of beautiful couples out there who are inspirations to each other on a daily basis.
A partner should be ready to build and be built, it should be fun making each other happy by seeing yourselves grow better everyday with the different amazing ideas shared. A relationship like this would be the best.
There should be movie and popcorn time, there should be intimacy time and perhaps during the intimacy time nice ideas can be related and worked out and until I find such a partner, I'll keep locking myself indoors alone when I'm not out there working during the weekdays.
It may not be easy to maintain a healthy relationship but as long as we all know what we want, we can always work it out.
