This is the first year I left my home, my country, diving into an unknown world. Strange life, strange happiness, strange surroundings, strange myself. Understandable but fragile to feel.
Now fireworks are filling everywhere. The happiness? The blessings? The hope of the fear? Blinking my eyes, feeling away.
The surface is at my eyes. The lives are behind the scene. Interrupted, plausible smile frozen when I felt the genuine reality.
The year is done. I spread the past 365 days before me on the living room carpet. Point to the ones where I decided to shed everything not deeply committed to my dreams. Refused to be a victim to the self-pity. Here is the week I slept in the garden. In the spring I wrung the self-doubt by it’s neck. hung your kindness up. took down the calendar. danced so hard my heart learned to float above the water again. In the summer I unscrewed all the mirrors from their walls. no longer needed to see myself to feel seen. I fold the good days up and place them in my back pocket for safekeeping. draw the match,cremate the unnecessary. the light of the fire worms my toes. I pour myself a glass of hot water to cleanse myself for January. here I go stronger and wiser into 2018.
