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Do you allow others to frequently violate your personal space?
If so, you may be someone who struggles with poor boundaries. In my Fairfax office, I work with so many clients who struggle with boundary issues. They give of themselves so much and for so long, they start to feel “burned out” (emotionally and physically exhausted). Does this sound familiar?
They give of themselves so much and for so long, they start to feel “burned out” (emotionally and physically exhausted). Does this sound familiar?
If so, it is time to put up some solid boundaries.
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The first step is to figure out WHY you feel the need to come to the rescue of others so often, at the detriment to your own emotional health. Some people feel the need to constantly be over-involved with others so that they can ignore their own pain or stifle their own desires.
Over time, a person with poor boundaries can end up creating what we call an “enmeshed” relationship with others, possibly even making the other person dependent upon them. Making someone dependent upon us is a great way for us to ignore our own needs, as well as our own personal issues, which we may have to work on.
So…on to solutions, if you recognize you have poor boundaries with others, how do you stop???
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First, try and be more assertive with those you have enmeshed relationships, encourage them to become more independent. Secondly, express your needs to those around you, as well as yourself, maybe even explore your wants.
Thirdly, recognize that you cannot help others if you allow yourself to become drained and constantly overly committed.
We all need “me” time, it is not about being selfish, it is about being emotionally grounded and healthy.
Finally and most importantly, if you want to create healthy boundaries but all this sounds frightening to you, seek the services of a licensed mental health professional, they can guide you through this process.
Absolvi meam animam
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